Benefits of Meditation (Things I Learned in Taiwan)

Aside from my Monastic Diaries, I also started blogging about my 2-week Life and Ch'an retreat in Taiwan. Below are my favorite quotes and teachings from the seminars I attended presided by Buddhist monks during Day 3 of my Taiwan trip.  I want to share them here with you as you might also find them inspirational.



"No one can help solve the depression within your heart. The only solution is to understand the heart of your depression. Only this way can you let go of your problems. Your environment and those in it is ever-changing. Are you affected by these changes? Are you vexed when things don't go your way?"

Read more: The Power of Meditation and What I Learned in Taiwan

Project Baby - What It's All About

*pic taken last weekend when I visited my friends Net and Dave and their beautiful daughter Anya*

I had another light bulb moment while I was taking a shower a few minutes ago. I couldn't wait to write down my thoughts so I rushed to my drawer to get an underwear, wore my panty and went in front of my computer, opened my blog and here I am now, hair still dripping wet, half naked, writing down my thoughts... It's about my project baby. 

Read more:  Project Baby - What It's All About

Dec. 23 Gratitude Journal

I promised myself before that I'll do this gratitude journal on my blog. Here are three things I am thankful for today:

1. Discovering the course The Artists' Way - a Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity
2. My sister being home this holiday season
3. My parents staying with us until New Year

How about you? What are you thankful for today?

Attitude of Gratitude

I think my okra plant is bearing fruit!

Thinking of things you're thankful for each day can bring such a sense of calm and feeling of happiness even when you've been feeling down for so long. It's just a matter of discipline and constant practice but if you do this every day, I promise you, the quality of your life will be so much better. I should know. Although I must admit that I haven't been doing this for a long while and was focusing on the negative side of things and that was when things started falling apart. My husband and I were constantly bickering at each other, I got sick, and our finances dwindled. But once I stopped myself from falling into that old destructive pattern and regained control over my feelings, things started falling into place once again and it's getting better and better.

Anyway, I'd like to start this gratitude journal here on my online self-help blog. You can do the same and as you practice the attitude of gratitude, notice how things begin to become better in your life. It could be small things, it could be big things. Just be aware and continuously practice giving thanks to blessings you receive each passing day NO MATTER WHAT.

For this morning alone, I have three things to be thankful for:

• By discovering HP Plus for my laboratory tests, I was able to save Php 10,000 on medical expenses.
• The person who extracted my blood this morning had such gentle hands that I didn't feel a thing. It was a first for me! In the past, whenever I'd get a blood test, the experience was usually painful. Thank God it wasn't today!
• My husband was with me the whole time and he was more sweet than usual.

When I got home, more blessings greeted me...

• Our fridge and pantry are full of healthy foods I can eat.
• Our house with the Christmas decors around is looking lovely as usual.
• I have a bag of new Nivea products I'm testing which I'll share with you on my other blog.
• My vegetable plants are growing (both my okra and tomato plants have just sprouted some flowers and maybe even a fruit!)

My tomato plant has flowers now!

Realizing these blessings made me happier today. And because I'm happier, I'm more productive and efficient with everything that I have to do. I even got to do 4 blog posts in between!

I'll also be going out on a fancy dinner date with my hubby tonight, and another fancy dinner date with my parents tomorrow. Those are two more things I am thankful for. How about you? (^_^)

PATIENCE - A Paragram by Paramahansa Yogananda

I was doing my meditation last night when I picked up this card from my paragrams. I thought how apt it was especially these days when my life seem to be revolving around things that are in the process of fruition ... like waiting for Peter's business to fully take off, waiting to see my vegetable seeds grow, waiting for the weekend so I can spend time with my personal projects, waiting for my money to come in... waiting to bum around again... waiting... and more waiting.

Come to think of it, my previous post on becoming an inverse paranoid had something to do with patience too. I guess I haven't been doing my best that the universe has chosen to give me a sign in written word, practically shouting: Jen, be patient! Your wishes are at hand...

When tilling ground for the cultivation of crops, one needs patience to destroy all useless weeds; and to wait, even though the ground appears barren, until the hidden good seeds sprout into plants. It requires still more patience to clear the field of consciousness that is overgrown with weeds of useless attachments to sense pleasures, which are very difficult to uproot. Yet when the field of consciousness is cleared, and sown with seeds of good qualities, plants of noble activities sprout forth, yielding abundantly the fruits of real happiness. Above all, have the patience to seek communion with God through deep meditation and to become acquainted with your indestructible soul, hidden within your perishable earthly body.

Sometimes I forget how God's blessings swoop in the minute I rid my mind of "weeds" such as worries, negative thoughts and undesirable feelings. There's a certain discipline to it. It's a lot like love such that you say yes to it even when you don't feel in love because that's the commitment you made.

Same thing with cultivating good thoughts, positive feelings and actionable results. Even when at first the ground seems barren, the roots of blessings are forming and before you know it, harvest season is at hand.

So Jen... be patient. ^_^

How to beat Stress? Pinpoint your stressors.

As the old saying goes, "knowing is half the battle", and indeed, it is true, including when trying to beat stress in your daily life. Stress is normal. It happens to everyone, even to the most saintly person in this whole world. After all, stress is really a God-given / natural response that triggers our body to fight or flight. At the most basic level, stress can spur us to act when there is an emergency or when our life is put at risk.

However, when stress lingers or gets triggered even by the smallest or the most mundane of things, then stress itself could be a danger to us. In the long run, it can cause severe illnesses like heart attack, migraine, high blood pressure, even the common cold. It can rob you of your creativity, make you forgetful and disorganized, and simply make your life miserable. When stress becomes like this in your life, it's time to take action and beat it. But how?

One way to beat stress is to know where it's coming from. Are you stressed out when you're procrastinating? Is stress a result of your being unemployed, or having an unresolved conflict with someone, or being disorganized, or from being obsessive-compulsive or a perfectionist? Is your dead-end job stressing you out? Is it your parents? Your in-laws? Your friends? Your social network? Whatever the source of your stress is, you have to be able to pinpoint it out so you can start thinking of a solution for it.

As for me, lately, I have been stressed about my upcoming trip to Cagayan de Oro. It's all those ugly memories I've had with my grandparents that are coming to the surface and stressing me out. They've hurt me so much in the past that even if I've already forgiven them, I just can never forget. My solution? I now adapt a little paradigm shift by looking at the fact that my grandfather is almost 90 years old and that he needs to be with his grandchildren now more than ever, before it's too late. I am also looking at this trip as an opportunity to travel with my parents which we haven't done in a very long time. And lastly, I will have a chance to see my bestest friend, Mer, as well as my other high school friends should time permit it.

If I wasn't able to pinpoint where my jittery feelings, anxiety and stress are all coming from these past few days, I'd probably be having a sour mood everyday and my husband would likely be the recipient of my bad behavior. Now that I know where they're coming from, I am able to control my emotions and separate them from what is real and happening right now.

So try this technique. Pinpoint your stressors and beat stress now.

CALMNESS - A Paragram by Paramahansa Yogananda

My world seemed kind of "noisy" recently... or at best, it's not as peaceful as I willed it to be in the past. A family member has been staying with us for more or less two weeks now and though a big part of me is happy to be with this person again, her being strong-willed, opinionated and feisty are somewhat draining the lights out of me. Her life decisions made me question my own; her material wealth (like those branded bags she has) made me discontent; basically her presence made mine feel obsolete (like the way I dress myself although I know what she meant). I felt like I want what she has... it made me think for a while that her life was better than mine. I am normally not like this. I easily get happy for other people's blessings and happiness and I normally don't compare myself or my home life to others because truth be told, I am weird and there are not a lot of people who understand my chosen lifestyle. I've already come to accept that. But when my life and my decisions get questioned or challenged, especially by someone I hold dear, little doubts here and there get planted and before I know it, I am a one big ball of mess.

But before I even get to that messy part, I am once again seeking peace from all this noise in my head and around me. I turn to my Para-Grams. And so I drew the card that talks about being calm:

Knowing that you are a child of God, make up your mind to be calm no matter what happens. If your mind is fully identified with your activities, you cannot be conscious of the Lord. But if you are calm and receptive to him within while being active without, you are rightly active. Each time a swarm of worries invades your mind, refuse to be affected; wait calmly while seeking the remedy. Spray the worries with the powerful chemical of your peace. You cannot buy peace; you must know how to manufacture it within, in the stillness of your daily practices in meditation. When you think that you have reached the utmost depth of silence and calmness, go deeper still. In the silence you will receive from God the answers to your life's problems.

I like that part where it says I must manufacture my peace within. That particular day when I felt so troubled, as if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and everything I did just ended in failure, I stopped, closed my eyes and meditated. I quieted my mind and my heart. It was difficult especially with all the self-doubts swimming in my head and in my heart. It took a long while too and realized that I missed it.

With the busyness of my life, I wasn't able to meditate as frequently and as regularly as I did in the past. No wonder I was easily swayed, my emotions were easily stirred and it seemed like I couldn't find my inner voice. I now refuse to be affected by this noise and I promise to continue to live by my own rules of happiness. It's how God made me and I do believe that I should honor that, and not be someone else that I am not.

TRUTH - A Paragram by Paramahansa Yogananda

With my husband being sick for the past week, I was busy playing the role of the dutiful wife. I was rarely online except for work and I barely had the time to take care of my personal and spiritual growth. I know... I know. It shouldn't be the case. If there's one thing I learned during my travel to Vietnam with Jem, it is to start each day with prayer or meditation. I mentioned this on my Wiccan blog and I still believe this practice to be powerful until now.

Unfortunately, this hasn't been the case for me the past week. And without meditation, I lose focus of my center and slowly, stress started creeping in. When that happens, my insecurities set in and it's not a wonderful feeling.

Suffice it to say that this morning, I made it a point to meditate again. Meditation banishes negative feelings and brings back that feeling of awe and contentment. Meditation keeps one grounded while at the same time makes you excited about the great possibilities that can happen in your life. So this morning, I did just that with the help of my Para-Grams. As I was meditating, I picked out the card of TRUTH. It says:

There is no particular section of the world, nor any special group of people, that may claim truth as an exclusive heritage. It is the rightful possession of every person, and constitutes the equality of all souls before God. If you do not make an effort to know truth, to perceive it beneath the veils that hide it, you will not discover your own real nature and will therefore remain at the mercy of outside forces of "circumstances." In meditation, behold the star of divine wisdom, that its rays disclose the truth ever within yourself. "If therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light" (Matthew 6:22). Truth is mighty and shall prevail!

I think this Para-Gram is telling me to stop feeling stressed out and insecure about myself and my life. Life in itself is beautiful and that everything I could possibly need is either already in my possession or within my reach. There is no reason to think of myself as a lesser being just because I'm not like most people. Each one of us is awesome in our own right. My own real nature is beautiful in itself and that I should never have to judge it so harshly. If I don't acknowledge this truth, then I will just be continuously at the mercy of outside forces and circumstances around me like the card says. I am created in the image and likeness of the most Divine, hence, I am already beautiful and complete.

After having this epiphany during my meditation, I felt so much better.

Try doing some meditations too when you feel stressed out or when you're having a crappy day. It doesn't have to be in the morning as long as it's a time you are comfortable at being silent for a little while so you can focus your energies.

How to Face Your Fears

Lately, I have been feeling down again. Maybe it's because my husband got sick over the weekend, and it's really hard for me every time that happens. I feel mad, I feel very worried, I feel like I should be doing something more fun and productive, yet there I was, playing nurse and starting to feel sick too. It was not until I went online to read a couple of posts from this blog (reading my past realizations somehow makes me feel a lot better), checked my messages and answered some that I felt inspired once again.

On this particular post, I'd like to share a conversation I had with someone who contacted me via Facebook. It's about facing one's fears, about how I seemingly managed to do a lot of things and how this person can be fearless as well. After I wrote my advice and read it again, it also hit me, like... wow! I did all those things?! It's amazing how some people who seek for my help end up being the ones who help and inspire me instead. So this post is for Sam (name altered for privacy purposes). Thank you, Sam, for making me see that in spite of a couple of bumps along the way, life is still beautiful.

Sam:

Hi Ms. Jen, Ive just watched your TV appearances. Sikat ka pala tlaga (I didn't know you're famous). You are right, confidence is one of the keys... for doing what you want and need.. I admire your fearless and adventurous personality. I really wanted to do things I wanted to do, but when I had minor heart problem, mitral valve prolapse in which palpitations and anxiety ruins my moods...

Luckily, I dont have any maintenance medicine, but I have medicine for palpitations if I can't bear the attacks. This illness is more associated with the mind, nasasamahan pa ng nerbyos kapag naiisip ko o akala ko aatakihin ako... (coupled with nervousness when I think I'm going to have another attack). Good thing some gym work out really helps.

I'm asking for your advice or any suggestions on how to overcome fears, how I can be motivated for doing what I love.. dami ko hindi ngagawa kasi nga maraming fears (There are so many things I can't do due to my fears) or negativity before I even start. How can I be more motivated?? I'm also still struggling to find what my passion really is...

BTW I'm now reading Happiness in Hard Times, thank you. I'm also sharing it to my friends.. your blogs are very informative and inspirational.. and Thank you very much.. More Blessings to you Ms. Jen!

My reply:

Sorry for my late reply. I've been playing wifey and mommy to my sick husband these past few days and I haven't been opening my messages folder here on FB. Sorry about that.

Hey, I'm so glad you're reading the book now and sharing it with your friends. That book is my Bible. I've been reading it too over the weekend coz every time my hubby gets sick, for some reason, I also get mad at him and I'm trying to overcome that. I guess I was just expecting our weekend to be fun. I usually don't see him all week because of work and I was hoping we can go out of town and windsurf but instead we had to stay home and I had to take care of him. But he's getting better now, thank God.

I'm so sorry to hear about your heart condition. At the same time I am saying a silent thank you prayer that it's not worse than it is. Like you said, it's all in the mind. Just keep training your mind and keep believing that you're healthy, that you have everything you need, that your life is unfolding perfectly. Just keep being grateful for the blessings you have and the blessings that keep coming your way no matter how small. The more you feel good about your life, the better your life will get and the more things you can do.

Being fearless is not about not feeling fear. It's actually acknowledging the fact that you fear something and it's also acknowledging the fact that you can face your fear and overcome it.

Many of the things I did, I did while I was feeling very fearful...

I was scared of the ocean so I surfed, I snorkeled, I tried diving once, I rode boats amidst the swells of the ocean.

I was scared to jump off a cliff so I jumped amidst the raging falls at Pundaquit in Zambales, 15 meters high.

I was scared of snakes and alligators, so I went to zoos and held all sorts of snakes and carried a baby crocodile.

I was scared to fly, so I took 6 flights from Manila to Singapore to Kuala Lumpur to Vietnam in a period of 8 days.

I was scared to be alone so I spent 4 weeks alone in Boracay....

All these things were scary for me. I cried at some point but I knew I just had to do them and face them. I will always be scared to do them all over again but at least now I know I can do them despite the feeling of fear. Like anything else, it's just a feeling. I can choose to ignore the fear and just go on with my life, doing things that I know will make me a better person.

So just do what you want to do, as long as you know it won't pose a great risk to your life. The reason why I stopped diving is because I had a hard time pressurizing my ear at that time, that if I didn't stop I knew I'd die. For some people, diving is easy. But I am also smart enough to know what my limits are and when to say no.

So try to do the things you want at least once. Those you enjoyed the most, keep doing them again and again. Before you know it, you'll realize what your passion in life really is.

I hope what I've been saying here makes sense. I wish you well, Sam. And do update me of your progress..

The Fundamentals of Success #6: Become an Inverse Paranoid

This next principle has proven to be very valuable for me. You see, the past several years, I have been conditioned by certain events in my life to be a little extra careful. And there are times when I get too paranoid that I start thinking people are out to get me!

At some level, this kind of paranoia can be helpful. I tend to be cautious of my surroundings when I travel, I double check everything before leaving the house and before going to bed, I make lists, I have contingency plans in case things go wrong. I am O.C. that way. On the other hand, it would be better and more helpful for my well-being if I apply this principle of being an inverse paranoid. Instead of thinking that bad people are out to get me, why not think that people and circumstances are out to help me get what I want? And so, I have this mantra that I include in my daily meditation: "All great things are coming to me. People and opportunities are part of a plot to enhance my well-being." Because of this mindset, I am slowly letting go of my paranoia and replacing it instead with good, positive vibes. After all, there is opportunity in everything, no matter how difficult certain circumstances might be.

If you take the approach that "good" is not an accident --- that everyone and everything that shows up in your life is there for a reason --- and that the universe is moving you toward your ultimate destiny for learning, growth, and achievement, you'll begin to see every event, no matter how difficult or challenging, as a chance for enrichment and advancement in your life.

And when that time comes that things seem to fall apart, just know that God must have something better in store for you. Rather than thinking what a loser you are, change your paradigm and believe that it's just not meant and something greater is about to happen. Practice this and see how it goes.

The Fundamentals of Success #5: Believe in Yourself

The 5th principle is very much tied with the fourth. Now that you believe anything is possible, then go the extra mile by believing in yourself first.

You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on Earth by the Master Craftsman. - Max Lucado, best-selling author

Believe in yourself. How simple is that? It doesn't matter whether you are the smartest one around or the one who didn't finish college. Believe in yourself... in your capabilities and everything else will follow. How many billionaires do we know who never even finished college? And how many people do we know who have gotten their masters and doctorate degrees and yet are still not financially successful?

Don't let others dictate how you should live your life. And in times when no one else believes in you, you have to believe in yourself. This is what will make you a winner. What others think about you is none of your business. Whether you like it or not, Dr. Daniel Amen's 18/40/60 Rule is very true:

When you're 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you; when you're 40, you don't give a darn what anybody thinks of you; when you're 60, you realize that nobody's been thinking about you at all.

This is such a revelation isn't?! Here we are, wasting our time worrying about what others think of us. When in truth, no one really bothers coz everyone else is also busy thinking about themselves! So stop wasting time and start using it doing more productive things that can help you achieve your goal.

As a young kid, I've always known that I was the shy type. I did have tons of friends and acquaintances both in school and wherever I go but I know deep down, I'm happier by myself. But, I also know that the world does not operate that way. If I wanted to succeed, I made myself believe that I should get out of my shell and explore my options. So what I did was, I just believed in myself that I could do it. Whether it was to lead a class, or to act on stage, or to talk in front of so many people, or to deliver a speech during oratorical contests, I just know that I can do it, nervous and all.

As an elementary and secondary student, I was always sent to various quiz bees, seminars, workshops, etc. and I was expected to lead and mingle with people. No matter how shy I'd get, I just start by faking it at first. I have always been good at acting anyway, so I might as well use it. It did pay off. The confidence that grew in me was brought about by years of practice, of believing in myself that I can do it. And even if at times I fail, I just get up again and again. I don't want to waste my time believing that I can't. This is why I love venturing into new things. I've given up "I can't" a long time ago. And whenever I do feel like I can't, at least I know that I always have a choice of whether to believe it or not. And so do you. It's just a matter or attitude.

Happiness for Everyone this New Year

It must be a puzzle for most of us how some people tend to be happier than others in spite of the tragedies that had befallen them… why do some people easily bounce back from life’s tragedies while there are others who, despite having almost everything they ever wanted in life, still seem to feel miserable. Well, wonder no more. There is actually a scientific theory that can explain this phenomenon. And scientists call this --- HAPPINESS SET POINT.

Scientists continue to prove that 1/2 of our happiness level is genetic. Yes, we all got our tendency for happiness/misery from our biological parents and that is our base point. Would you believe? 50% of the time, how we feel comes from the way our parents feel about life too. But it does not mean that those born with somber parents are doomed for life. This just means that they would have to work doubly hard on intending to be blissful. It’s the same way with obese and skinny people. They have to work harder in getting their desired weight as compared to those who are born with just the perfect genes (according to social standards at least).

Knowing these things, how do we become happy? How do we make this coming New Year filled with bliss, love, and more of the great things that we’ve all been yearning for? One minute we are ecstatic, the next minute, we get depressed. Then sometime in between, we bounce back to our happiness set point. How do we ensure that we feel happy most of the time at the very least?

Take for instance those people who were lucky enough to have won in the lottery and were deliriously happy about it at first. But after a few months or a year, they go back to their old sad selves. However, there are people who have lost so much and after a while, they go back to their content and happy lives. That level of happiness that they slowly went back to is their happiness set point.

But don’t fret if you belong to the somber ones. You may not be able to change your happiness set point because that is genetic, but you can change your overall level of everyday happiness and outlook in life. Happiness set point is after all, just 50% of the equation. The other half will depend on your effort and your will to want to be happy.

The following information might help:

The things that contribute to our overall happiness according to scientists are:
• Genetics – 50%
• Intentional Activity – 40%
• Circumstances – 10%

Now we know why material things can’t buy happiness. They are just part of the circumstances surrounding you (like whether you’re born rich or poor, white or black, handicapped or healthy, etc.) and it’s only 10% of the equation. The bigger chunk that we can control is our intention which comprises 40% of the equation. And that’s a lot! So when we intend to be happy and do things that make us happy, it counts for a lot in our happiness level.

So know your happiness set point by observing your parents and then from there, do things that can bring your happiness to a higher level.

Here are some examples of intentional activities you can do for you to reach that level of happiness you desire:

1. Take more pleasure in life. Look everywhere for happiness and delight!
Learn to appreciate the simple joys of life. Take pleasure in the little things.
- Take charge of your stressors. Control them.
- I’ve told you that money can’t buy happiness hence forget about making tons of it. Enjoy it instead and share the wealth.
- Our body is the temple of the holy spirit. Nurture and nourish it, do not abuse it.

2. Find the meaning of your life. Find your purpose.
- Believe in yourself. As you wake up each morning, make an affirmation in front of the mirror that today will be a great day. Believe this and it shall be.
- Fake it until you make it. Smile and act happy even if you don’t feel like it.
- Pay it forward. Do little acts of kindness, both random and planned.
- Be grateful for everything no matter what. Always
- Forgive, forget, let go, move on.
- Make new friends and nurture old ones.

3. Be engaged in your endeavors.
- Work as if you’re playing. Play as if you’re working.
- Take charge of the way you use your time, money and other resources. Don’t let anybody else pressure you.

These are just some examples of intentional activities we can do to increase our happiness level, especially this New Year and after everything that has happened the past year. Doing so can better the quality of our lives and help save humanity in the process.

God speed!

The Power of Discernment

In my last post I wrote: "Make sure the choices you make are consistent with your inner values. By aligning everything in your life, you are aligning yourself with the universe. When you are aligned with the universe, we all know what happens next.... your life will then be a series of one miracle after another."

I took my own advice when the job I was pursuing didn't feel right anymore. After pursuing something that I thought I would love to do for the rest of my life, I realized that it was not the case. Ever since I learned about The Secret in 2007, I have become more aware of my emotions and my varying states of being. I have somehow developed this habit of knowing when I am one with the universe and when I am not. Our emotional guiding system, when discerned and used properly, is really a tool leading us to the right path in our lives. When you feel that you are at peace, happy and abundant then you know that the direction you're taking is the correct one.

At that time, I was doing everything I can to keep loving my job because truth be told, I loved it! I was excited by it! I didn't know anything about it but I was willing to learn. After all, it is a very prestigious one and it took a very rigorous process before I was even offered apprenticeship. However, I also didn't want it to be just about that. I've already spent the last 6 years of my life sticking it out in a job I didn't like but a million other people will die for because of the huge monetary benefits it offered. But I don't want history repeating itself. I've already learned my lessons in that and I wanted to move on. So as soon as I experienced the telltale signs, I acted on it. I quit and started pursuing those other unconventional things that I loved to do since I was a little girl. Money is not so great (yet) but I am happier, healthier and more full of love than ever. Now, that's a very strong indication that I am doing something right. And since then (it's been roughly four weeks since I left that job), I noticed that blessings have been pouring more often and a lot faster than usual. That's how the universe works. It likes speed and results! Most of the time, it's just us who are putting hindrances to the blessings that can't wait to fall on our lap. So let's try to make them come easier and a lot faster! Listen, act and believe. Then life gets easier.

Positive Thinking Works

One busy evening, I was asked by a male friend of mine online: "How can you always stay so positive?". I surmise that many of my friends are wondering about the same thing too but he was the one brave enough to actually ask me. I replied that it's something I have always inculcated in myself since way back in college. A decade later, I am finally reaping its benefits.

Read more:

Positive Thinking Works