How to Face Your Fears

Lately, I have been feeling down again. Maybe it's because my husband got sick over the weekend, and it's really hard for me every time that happens. I feel mad, I feel very worried, I feel like I should be doing something more fun and productive, yet there I was, playing nurse and starting to feel sick too. It was not until I went online to read a couple of posts from this blog (reading my past realizations somehow makes me feel a lot better), checked my messages and answered some that I felt inspired once again.

On this particular post, I'd like to share a conversation I had with someone who contacted me via Facebook. It's about facing one's fears, about how I seemingly managed to do a lot of things and how this person can be fearless as well. After I wrote my advice and read it again, it also hit me, like... wow! I did all those things?! It's amazing how some people who seek for my help end up being the ones who help and inspire me instead. So this post is for Sam (name altered for privacy purposes). Thank you, Sam, for making me see that in spite of a couple of bumps along the way, life is still beautiful.

Sam:

Hi Ms. Jen, Ive just watched your TV appearances. Sikat ka pala tlaga (I didn't know you're famous). You are right, confidence is one of the keys... for doing what you want and need.. I admire your fearless and adventurous personality. I really wanted to do things I wanted to do, but when I had minor heart problem, mitral valve prolapse in which palpitations and anxiety ruins my moods...

Luckily, I dont have any maintenance medicine, but I have medicine for palpitations if I can't bear the attacks. This illness is more associated with the mind, nasasamahan pa ng nerbyos kapag naiisip ko o akala ko aatakihin ako... (coupled with nervousness when I think I'm going to have another attack). Good thing some gym work out really helps.

I'm asking for your advice or any suggestions on how to overcome fears, how I can be motivated for doing what I love.. dami ko hindi ngagawa kasi nga maraming fears (There are so many things I can't do due to my fears) or negativity before I even start. How can I be more motivated?? I'm also still struggling to find what my passion really is...

BTW I'm now reading Happiness in Hard Times, thank you. I'm also sharing it to my friends.. your blogs are very informative and inspirational.. and Thank you very much.. More Blessings to you Ms. Jen!

My reply:

Sorry for my late reply. I've been playing wifey and mommy to my sick husband these past few days and I haven't been opening my messages folder here on FB. Sorry about that.

Hey, I'm so glad you're reading the book now and sharing it with your friends. That book is my Bible. I've been reading it too over the weekend coz every time my hubby gets sick, for some reason, I also get mad at him and I'm trying to overcome that. I guess I was just expecting our weekend to be fun. I usually don't see him all week because of work and I was hoping we can go out of town and windsurf but instead we had to stay home and I had to take care of him. But he's getting better now, thank God.

I'm so sorry to hear about your heart condition. At the same time I am saying a silent thank you prayer that it's not worse than it is. Like you said, it's all in the mind. Just keep training your mind and keep believing that you're healthy, that you have everything you need, that your life is unfolding perfectly. Just keep being grateful for the blessings you have and the blessings that keep coming your way no matter how small. The more you feel good about your life, the better your life will get and the more things you can do.

Being fearless is not about not feeling fear. It's actually acknowledging the fact that you fear something and it's also acknowledging the fact that you can face your fear and overcome it.

Many of the things I did, I did while I was feeling very fearful...

I was scared of the ocean so I surfed, I snorkeled, I tried diving once, I rode boats amidst the swells of the ocean.

I was scared to jump off a cliff so I jumped amidst the raging falls at Pundaquit in Zambales, 15 meters high.

I was scared of snakes and alligators, so I went to zoos and held all sorts of snakes and carried a baby crocodile.

I was scared to fly, so I took 6 flights from Manila to Singapore to Kuala Lumpur to Vietnam in a period of 8 days.

I was scared to be alone so I spent 4 weeks alone in Boracay....

All these things were scary for me. I cried at some point but I knew I just had to do them and face them. I will always be scared to do them all over again but at least now I know I can do them despite the feeling of fear. Like anything else, it's just a feeling. I can choose to ignore the fear and just go on with my life, doing things that I know will make me a better person.

So just do what you want to do, as long as you know it won't pose a great risk to your life. The reason why I stopped diving is because I had a hard time pressurizing my ear at that time, that if I didn't stop I knew I'd die. For some people, diving is easy. But I am also smart enough to know what my limits are and when to say no.

So try to do the things you want at least once. Those you enjoyed the most, keep doing them again and again. Before you know it, you'll realize what your passion in life really is.

I hope what I've been saying here makes sense. I wish you well, Sam. And do update me of your progress..

MAGNETISM - A Para-Gram by Paramahansa Yogananda

Spiritual magnetism is a drawing, uplifting, expanding power. It is a quality of the Spirit. By soul magnetism in man, a person draws to himself friends and desired objects, and acquires profound knowledge. You should strive for that magnetic power, which has limitless range and depth. You can develop spiritual magnetism by deep meditation upon Aum (Amen, the Word) and God. Through its divine power, you can accomplish in your life the materialization of all your constructive ambitions. God's magnetic drawing power is in you. If you radiate love and goodwill to others, you will open the channel for God's love to come to you. Through meditation and service to mankind, you will develop divine love, the magnet that draws to you all good.

Since I was a kid, I've always been interested in spirituality,the concept of the divine, the higher power if you will. This curiosity got me interested in becoming a nun when I was ten years old, then experimenting with another religion as an adolescent. I am Roman Catholic on paper. Then some time back in college, I was baptized a born-again Christian. Somewhere along the way, I lost my faith and became an atheist. But that just brought me nothing but misery, and so I turned agnostic instead. I've been an agnostic my whole young adult life. I do believe in what most people call "God", a higher power which I believe we will never ever fully understand, but it's there. I even have this theory (which I got from my husband, and which he got from Stan Lee) that after this higher power, this God, created all that there is, He just simply moved on and abandoned us (in a non-negative kind of way). I mean, think about it. The Catholic Bible says that we are all created in His own image and likeness. Therefore it means, that we all have the capacity within us to be Gods ourselves, to create our own worlds too, our own reality. And many of us have been doing that for the longest time that's why our species keep surviving, we keep discovering better things for us. I mean, He is God after all. He can choose to abandon us and move on to greater things if He wants to. This higher power has already given us everything that we could possibly ever need to thrive and live in peaceful bliss. We have this beautiful Earth in which we live in (it's just too bad that we are destroying it in the process too), we have our free will to be able to do what we want, we have our conscience and intuition to help guide us to the right path (it's just too bad also that most of us choose to ignore them), we can become magnets (we actually already are and many of us just don't know how to use it) so we can attract and gravitate towards us the things, people, and events that we want. So what else can we yearn for?

I've tested this theory a few times recently. Through meditation upon this higher power, I was able to get some simple things I want. Simple things like having the house renovated (all of a sudden, I got three jobs to help pay for it), wanting to travel on weekends (I've been doing that almost every other weekend since January came in), wanting to just laze around the house and relax (I easily let go of my two jobs without any no fuss), then an opportunity came for me to help my siblings financially (I easily got one job back as if on will). It's as if, whatever it was that I needed at that particular moment (without the greed and just purely out of love and search for inner bliss), the universe simply gave it to me. Other people out there don't have it this good. Perhaps, if we all just learn to tap into this spiritual magnetism in all of us, the lives that we all have now can be so much better.

The Fundamentals of Success #4: Believe It's Possible

Before I tackle the 4th principle, do check out these other three:  

1.Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life 
2.Be Clear Why You're Here 
3.Decide What You Want 

On to the next success principle: 

The Fundamentals of Success #4: Believe It's Possible

One Way To Beat Stress

Before I continue with my posts on Jack Canfield's Success Principles, let me share with you a little bit about stress. I read something about it a few minutes ago and it just struck me so hard that I needed to immediately write something about it.

HOW TO BEAT STRESS – 3 SIMPLE STEPS I ADOPTED FROM TONY ROBBINS

Positive Thinking Works

One busy evening, I was asked by a male friend of mine online: "How can you always stay so positive?". I surmise that many of my friends are wondering about the same thing too but he was the one brave enough to actually ask me. I replied that it's something I have always inculcated in myself since way back in college. A decade later, I am finally reaping its benefits.

Read more:

Positive Thinking Works