CALMNESS - A Paragram by Paramahansa Yogananda

My world seemed kind of "noisy" recently... or at best, it's not as peaceful as I willed it to be in the past. A family member has been staying with us for more or less two weeks now and though a big part of me is happy to be with this person again, her being strong-willed, opinionated and feisty are somewhat draining the lights out of me. Her life decisions made me question my own; her material wealth (like those branded bags she has) made me discontent; basically her presence made mine feel obsolete (like the way I dress myself although I know what she meant). I felt like I want what she has... it made me think for a while that her life was better than mine. I am normally not like this. I easily get happy for other people's blessings and happiness and I normally don't compare myself or my home life to others because truth be told, I am weird and there are not a lot of people who understand my chosen lifestyle. I've already come to accept that. But when my life and my decisions get questioned or challenged, especially by someone I hold dear, little doubts here and there get planted and before I know it, I am a one big ball of mess.

But before I even get to that messy part, I am once again seeking peace from all this noise in my head and around me. I turn to my Para-Grams. And so I drew the card that talks about being calm:

Knowing that you are a child of God, make up your mind to be calm no matter what happens. If your mind is fully identified with your activities, you cannot be conscious of the Lord. But if you are calm and receptive to him within while being active without, you are rightly active. Each time a swarm of worries invades your mind, refuse to be affected; wait calmly while seeking the remedy. Spray the worries with the powerful chemical of your peace. You cannot buy peace; you must know how to manufacture it within, in the stillness of your daily practices in meditation. When you think that you have reached the utmost depth of silence and calmness, go deeper still. In the silence you will receive from God the answers to your life's problems.

I like that part where it says I must manufacture my peace within. That particular day when I felt so troubled, as if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and everything I did just ended in failure, I stopped, closed my eyes and meditated. I quieted my mind and my heart. It was difficult especially with all the self-doubts swimming in my head and in my heart. It took a long while too and realized that I missed it.

With the busyness of my life, I wasn't able to meditate as frequently and as regularly as I did in the past. No wonder I was easily swayed, my emotions were easily stirred and it seemed like I couldn't find my inner voice. I now refuse to be affected by this noise and I promise to continue to live by my own rules of happiness. It's how God made me and I do believe that I should honor that, and not be someone else that I am not.

TRUTH - A Paragram by Paramahansa Yogananda

With my husband being sick for the past week, I was busy playing the role of the dutiful wife. I was rarely online except for work and I barely had the time to take care of my personal and spiritual growth. I know... I know. It shouldn't be the case. If there's one thing I learned during my travel to Vietnam with Jem, it is to start each day with prayer or meditation. I mentioned this on my Wiccan blog and I still believe this practice to be powerful until now.

Unfortunately, this hasn't been the case for me the past week. And without meditation, I lose focus of my center and slowly, stress started creeping in. When that happens, my insecurities set in and it's not a wonderful feeling.

Suffice it to say that this morning, I made it a point to meditate again. Meditation banishes negative feelings and brings back that feeling of awe and contentment. Meditation keeps one grounded while at the same time makes you excited about the great possibilities that can happen in your life. So this morning, I did just that with the help of my Para-Grams. As I was meditating, I picked out the card of TRUTH. It says:

There is no particular section of the world, nor any special group of people, that may claim truth as an exclusive heritage. It is the rightful possession of every person, and constitutes the equality of all souls before God. If you do not make an effort to know truth, to perceive it beneath the veils that hide it, you will not discover your own real nature and will therefore remain at the mercy of outside forces of "circumstances." In meditation, behold the star of divine wisdom, that its rays disclose the truth ever within yourself. "If therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light" (Matthew 6:22). Truth is mighty and shall prevail!

I think this Para-Gram is telling me to stop feeling stressed out and insecure about myself and my life. Life in itself is beautiful and that everything I could possibly need is either already in my possession or within my reach. There is no reason to think of myself as a lesser being just because I'm not like most people. Each one of us is awesome in our own right. My own real nature is beautiful in itself and that I should never have to judge it so harshly. If I don't acknowledge this truth, then I will just be continuously at the mercy of outside forces and circumstances around me like the card says. I am created in the image and likeness of the most Divine, hence, I am already beautiful and complete.

After having this epiphany during my meditation, I felt so much better.

Try doing some meditations too when you feel stressed out or when you're having a crappy day. It doesn't have to be in the morning as long as it's a time you are comfortable at being silent for a little while so you can focus your energies.

How to Face Your Fears

Lately, I have been feeling down again. Maybe it's because my husband got sick over the weekend, and it's really hard for me every time that happens. I feel mad, I feel very worried, I feel like I should be doing something more fun and productive, yet there I was, playing nurse and starting to feel sick too. It was not until I went online to read a couple of posts from this blog (reading my past realizations somehow makes me feel a lot better), checked my messages and answered some that I felt inspired once again.

On this particular post, I'd like to share a conversation I had with someone who contacted me via Facebook. It's about facing one's fears, about how I seemingly managed to do a lot of things and how this person can be fearless as well. After I wrote my advice and read it again, it also hit me, like... wow! I did all those things?! It's amazing how some people who seek for my help end up being the ones who help and inspire me instead. So this post is for Sam (name altered for privacy purposes). Thank you, Sam, for making me see that in spite of a couple of bumps along the way, life is still beautiful.

Sam:

Hi Ms. Jen, Ive just watched your TV appearances. Sikat ka pala tlaga (I didn't know you're famous). You are right, confidence is one of the keys... for doing what you want and need.. I admire your fearless and adventurous personality. I really wanted to do things I wanted to do, but when I had minor heart problem, mitral valve prolapse in which palpitations and anxiety ruins my moods...

Luckily, I dont have any maintenance medicine, but I have medicine for palpitations if I can't bear the attacks. This illness is more associated with the mind, nasasamahan pa ng nerbyos kapag naiisip ko o akala ko aatakihin ako... (coupled with nervousness when I think I'm going to have another attack). Good thing some gym work out really helps.

I'm asking for your advice or any suggestions on how to overcome fears, how I can be motivated for doing what I love.. dami ko hindi ngagawa kasi nga maraming fears (There are so many things I can't do due to my fears) or negativity before I even start. How can I be more motivated?? I'm also still struggling to find what my passion really is...

BTW I'm now reading Happiness in Hard Times, thank you. I'm also sharing it to my friends.. your blogs are very informative and inspirational.. and Thank you very much.. More Blessings to you Ms. Jen!

My reply:

Sorry for my late reply. I've been playing wifey and mommy to my sick husband these past few days and I haven't been opening my messages folder here on FB. Sorry about that.

Hey, I'm so glad you're reading the book now and sharing it with your friends. That book is my Bible. I've been reading it too over the weekend coz every time my hubby gets sick, for some reason, I also get mad at him and I'm trying to overcome that. I guess I was just expecting our weekend to be fun. I usually don't see him all week because of work and I was hoping we can go out of town and windsurf but instead we had to stay home and I had to take care of him. But he's getting better now, thank God.

I'm so sorry to hear about your heart condition. At the same time I am saying a silent thank you prayer that it's not worse than it is. Like you said, it's all in the mind. Just keep training your mind and keep believing that you're healthy, that you have everything you need, that your life is unfolding perfectly. Just keep being grateful for the blessings you have and the blessings that keep coming your way no matter how small. The more you feel good about your life, the better your life will get and the more things you can do.

Being fearless is not about not feeling fear. It's actually acknowledging the fact that you fear something and it's also acknowledging the fact that you can face your fear and overcome it.

Many of the things I did, I did while I was feeling very fearful...

I was scared of the ocean so I surfed, I snorkeled, I tried diving once, I rode boats amidst the swells of the ocean.

I was scared to jump off a cliff so I jumped amidst the raging falls at Pundaquit in Zambales, 15 meters high.

I was scared of snakes and alligators, so I went to zoos and held all sorts of snakes and carried a baby crocodile.

I was scared to fly, so I took 6 flights from Manila to Singapore to Kuala Lumpur to Vietnam in a period of 8 days.

I was scared to be alone so I spent 4 weeks alone in Boracay....

All these things were scary for me. I cried at some point but I knew I just had to do them and face them. I will always be scared to do them all over again but at least now I know I can do them despite the feeling of fear. Like anything else, it's just a feeling. I can choose to ignore the fear and just go on with my life, doing things that I know will make me a better person.

So just do what you want to do, as long as you know it won't pose a great risk to your life. The reason why I stopped diving is because I had a hard time pressurizing my ear at that time, that if I didn't stop I knew I'd die. For some people, diving is easy. But I am also smart enough to know what my limits are and when to say no.

So try to do the things you want at least once. Those you enjoyed the most, keep doing them again and again. Before you know it, you'll realize what your passion in life really is.

I hope what I've been saying here makes sense. I wish you well, Sam. And do update me of your progress..

Renewal... one of Oprah's Tips on How to Live Your Best Life

The following post is all about what Oprah wrote in her book LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE which I am currently reading. I am just so inspired with her article that I decided to repost it here. I'm sure you will feel enlightened too after reading her piece. You see, many of us have this tendency to be on the verge of a meltdown whenever we get so buried with work. Oprah reminds us all to have time for renewal... a time to love ourselves even if it's just one day or few moments in our very busy, driven lives...

"I was in my 20s when I figured out how to regulate my energy. I'd taken a job as a reporter and was working hundred-hours weeks, trying to be a team player. It was only after I became depleted that I realized I had only a certain amount of energy -- and I needed to conserve and restore it. I understood that I had to keep giving back to myself to refill my tank.

Now, when I begin to feel exhausted, I pull back. If I'm at work and people are lined up at my desk with one request after another, I literally go sit in my closet and refuel. And I always give myself Sundays as a spiritual base of renewal --- a day when I do absolutely nothing. I sit in my jammies or take a walk, and I allow myself to BE -- capital B-E -- with myself. When I don't, I absolutely become stressed, irritable, anxiety-prone, and not the person I want to be in the world.

The way you eat makes a difference in terms of sustainability, which is why I avoid sugar -- I don't want a high followed by a fall (see my Food Blog for some tips). I don't do energy bars or caffeine. I've learned to listen to my body. I know I'll be hungry at ten o'clock every morning, about the time I finish taping my first of two shows. At four in the afternoon, I'm ravenous. "Must be ten of four," I'll announce during a meeting, "because I could eat this cushion." That's when I have my biggest meal of the day --- usually a protein and some kind of fruit or vegetable.

But feeding yourself is more than food. I believe we're all connected to each other's energy fields -- whenever you walk into a roomful of people, your energy is either restored or taken away from you. If I'm around someone who saps me, I have to put up a barrier -- a nonphysical wall that keeps that person's negative vibes away. I also have a couple of energy idols --- people whose energy amazes me. Diane Sawyer is one. I don't know what I would do if I had to get up at three or four in the morning. And there's nobody like Tina Turner. How does she do that in Manolo Blahniks?

Energy is the essence of life. Everyday you decide how you're going to use it by knowing what you want and what it takes to reach your goal, and by maintaining focus. That means asking yourself: Is what I'm doing part of my overall plan and can I release the energy I'll need? ------ Oprah

The last line definitely blew my mind away. Over the last couple of months, there have been some opportunities offered to me which after much thought, I simply refused. I don't have a definite answer as to why, but I just mostly relied on my gut feel at that time. They just didn't feel right. I had queasy feelings in my stomach which are definitely a bad sign. After I read this article, and considering the fact that I just accepted a new job without even thinking so hard about it, it was all because those that I've let go were not part of my overall plan while this one that I've accepted, is. Therefore, I have the energy to release for it, despite my very busy, hectic schedule.

Having shared my simple food for thought, I wish you also gained a bit of wisdom from the article and I wish you all well in your present and future endeavors. Should you need some more enlightenment in a more unconventional way, do head to my Wiccan Blog for some magical help. The Kicking Pinay also does positive spells and tarot card readings. ^_^

Tips for a More Productive 2010

My girlfriend, Koryn, forwarded these tips to me via email. She seldom does that and I seldom read forwarded emails but the title and content caught my attention and I feel like sharing them with you now.

Unknowingly, I have been practicing most of these tips all these years no wonder I seem to be living such a remarkable life despite everything (tips # 3-11). As for tips #1-2, I am getting there. ^_^

Finally, these tips and more can be found in this amazing book should you want to purchase it.

Here they are.... tips on how to live a more productive life:

1. Purge clutter, downsize, and minimize. The less stuff you own, the less you have to clean, store, maintain, manage, protect, worry about, stress about, waste money on, forget, and pick up. Have the minimum amount of stuff for you to be comfortable. (This level is different for everyone and you’ll have to figure it out for yourself.)

2. Organize what you choose to own and use. Your home and office don’t need to be pristine museums, but you and the people who access the same space/items need to be able to easily find things when they’re needed. Order is better than chaos, and order saves you time and energy.

3. Commit to a streamlined routine for the mundane tasks in your life and be disciplined enough to maintain that routine. If you do 30 minutes of housework a day, your home is never chaotic. But, you have to be committed to these daily activities (dishes, laundry as needed, things put back in place when finished, kitty litter scooped, etc.) and not put them off for another day. The same is true for work; you have to stay on top of the necessary tasks or they will haunt you. I also think of this item as taking responsibility for the things you choose to own.

4. Determine what matters most to you. Make a list of the people, activities, and things in your life that mean the most to you and then spend the vast majority of your time focusing on these items. Be honest with yourself, though, and put on your list what really matters to you, not what you think should matter to you.

5. Remind yourself that even if you live to be 100, life is short. There is no better time to live your life than right now. My life’s motto is carpe vitam, Latin for seize life. It’s morbid to think about, but someday might not ever come. Stop putting things off until tomorrow.

6. Say “no” to what doesn’t matter. If an activity or responsibility isn’t on your list of what matters most to you, say “no” to it. Learn to say “no” in such a way as to not be a jerk, but say “no” when you need to. This is where I greatly differ from most people because I don’t feel guilty about protecting my time. And, as far as I know, most people don’t think I’m a jerk because I’m clear about why I’m declining offers and invitations. (“Taking a yoga class with you would be fun, but Wednesday nights are date night with my husband. Is there a similar class we can take together on another night?”)

7. Enjoy being industrious. Working provides us with the resources to take care of the things that matter most. Whatever you do for a career, make sure it is something that you enjoy (even if just minimally).

8. Get rid of everything that is toxic in your life because toxic things are clutter. Toxic people and habits suck up resources and energy. I was an avid smoker until I calculated how much of my money, time, and energy were going into my smoking addiction. No matter how gifted and talented, I avoid employing, working with, and spending time with people who are toxic. A toxic person can waste your time and mental energy faster than any other form of clutter.

9. Live within your means and save money for retirement, rainy days, and adventures. Get rid of your credit cards and only use cash or your debit card. Live on a budget even if you don’t need to be mindful of your spending habits. Have a retirement account, and two savings accounts — one for emergencies (refrigerator died, fender bender) and one for splurging on what matters most to you (vacation, rock climbing lessons, a camera to capture your child’s first steps). Buy quality instead of quantity. Be a smart consumer.

10. Take risks and be brazen. A second motto in my life is ad astra per aspera, which is loosely translated as to the stars through difficulty. (It’s also the Kansas state motto.) Great things might fall in your lap from time to time, but for the most part you have to get outside your comfort zone and initiate something new. Have you always wanted to learn to play the flute? Get your hands on a flute and start taking lessons. You’ll be really awful those first six months (or year or five), but you’ll never learn to play the flute if you don’t take the chance and try.

11. Get adequate sleep. Keep a sleep journal and find out how much sleep you need to function at your best. Then, make sure you get that amount of sleep every night. When you’re well rested, it’s easier to stay calm, be productive, and focus on what you need and want to do.

Happiness for Everyone this New Year

It must be a puzzle for most of us how some people tend to be happier than others in spite of the tragedies that had befallen them… why do some people easily bounce back from life’s tragedies while there are others who, despite having almost everything they ever wanted in life, still seem to feel miserable. Well, wonder no more. There is actually a scientific theory that can explain this phenomenon. And scientists call this --- HAPPINESS SET POINT.

Scientists continue to prove that 1/2 of our happiness level is genetic. Yes, we all got our tendency for happiness/misery from our biological parents and that is our base point. Would you believe? 50% of the time, how we feel comes from the way our parents feel about life too. But it does not mean that those born with somber parents are doomed for life. This just means that they would have to work doubly hard on intending to be blissful. It’s the same way with obese and skinny people. They have to work harder in getting their desired weight as compared to those who are born with just the perfect genes (according to social standards at least).

Knowing these things, how do we become happy? How do we make this coming New Year filled with bliss, love, and more of the great things that we’ve all been yearning for? One minute we are ecstatic, the next minute, we get depressed. Then sometime in between, we bounce back to our happiness set point. How do we ensure that we feel happy most of the time at the very least?

Take for instance those people who were lucky enough to have won in the lottery and were deliriously happy about it at first. But after a few months or a year, they go back to their old sad selves. However, there are people who have lost so much and after a while, they go back to their content and happy lives. That level of happiness that they slowly went back to is their happiness set point.

But don’t fret if you belong to the somber ones. You may not be able to change your happiness set point because that is genetic, but you can change your overall level of everyday happiness and outlook in life. Happiness set point is after all, just 50% of the equation. The other half will depend on your effort and your will to want to be happy.

The following information might help:

The things that contribute to our overall happiness according to scientists are:
• Genetics – 50%
• Intentional Activity – 40%
• Circumstances – 10%

Now we know why material things can’t buy happiness. They are just part of the circumstances surrounding you (like whether you’re born rich or poor, white or black, handicapped or healthy, etc.) and it’s only 10% of the equation. The bigger chunk that we can control is our intention which comprises 40% of the equation. And that’s a lot! So when we intend to be happy and do things that make us happy, it counts for a lot in our happiness level.

So know your happiness set point by observing your parents and then from there, do things that can bring your happiness to a higher level.

Here are some examples of intentional activities you can do for you to reach that level of happiness you desire:

1. Take more pleasure in life. Look everywhere for happiness and delight!
Learn to appreciate the simple joys of life. Take pleasure in the little things.
- Take charge of your stressors. Control them.
- I’ve told you that money can’t buy happiness hence forget about making tons of it. Enjoy it instead and share the wealth.
- Our body is the temple of the holy spirit. Nurture and nourish it, do not abuse it.

2. Find the meaning of your life. Find your purpose.
- Believe in yourself. As you wake up each morning, make an affirmation in front of the mirror that today will be a great day. Believe this and it shall be.
- Fake it until you make it. Smile and act happy even if you don’t feel like it.
- Pay it forward. Do little acts of kindness, both random and planned.
- Be grateful for everything no matter what. Always
- Forgive, forget, let go, move on.
- Make new friends and nurture old ones.

3. Be engaged in your endeavors.
- Work as if you’re playing. Play as if you’re working.
- Take charge of the way you use your time, money and other resources. Don’t let anybody else pressure you.

These are just some examples of intentional activities we can do to increase our happiness level, especially this New Year and after everything that has happened the past year. Doing so can better the quality of our lives and help save humanity in the process.

God speed!

One Way To Beat Stress

Before I continue with my posts on Jack Canfield's Success Principles, let me share with you a little bit about stress. I read something about it a few minutes ago and it just struck me so hard that I needed to immediately write something about it.

HOW TO BEAT STRESS – 3 SIMPLE STEPS I ADOPTED FROM TONY ROBBINS

The Fundamentals of Success # 1: Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life

Over the next several months, I shall be sharing with you my insights on one of Jack Canfield's many published books, The Success Principles (How to Get from Where You are to Where You Want to Be). If you'd like to purchase a copy, it's only priced at Php745.00 in Powerbooks which I think is pretty cheap for such a very good investment. It's practical and easy to read too.

READ MORE:

HOW TO TAKE 100% RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE

Positive Thinking Works

One busy evening, I was asked by a male friend of mine online: "How can you always stay so positive?". I surmise that many of my friends are wondering about the same thing too but he was the one brave enough to actually ask me. I replied that it's something I have always inculcated in myself since way back in college. A decade later, I am finally reaping its benefits.

Read more:

Positive Thinking Works

Who is Kicking Pinay?

Growing up, I have witnessed and experienced a lot of negativity around me. Although we were not very poor, there were a lot of times my siblings and I weren't able to eat right. We got by with the help of a few kind relatives and even strangers from beyond. But still, ghosts of my family's past kept on coming back to haunt us. My mom used to be a total nag, an emotional wreck and a big spender, my dad had the worst of vices, my brother attempted to kill himself several times, my sister grew up physically abused and I...well, I almost had a mental & emotional breakdown.

But all that is in the past. My mom is a lot happier these days, my dad is busy with a small home-based business he has, my brother is now a very responsible father and provider, my sister is a millionaire living independently while helping out our family and I am living the life I want: stress-free, with financial and time independence.

What matters now is the way I choose to live my life, hoping to encourage others like me to rise above their current situation and become stronger, better and happier. We have the power within us to change our lives the way we want it to be. It is here, inside of us, whether we believe it or not. It only takes a certain level of acknowledgment, acceptance, belief and hard work to make one's way to a life of greater possibilities.

This blog will talk about overcoming challenges, problems and difficulties from the most mundane to the most complex of cases. Eventually, it will feature other Pinays with a "kicking" attitude --- those who persevered and succeeded, those who did not easily give up, those who continue to live a full life. It will tackle subjects like success, good health, freedom from want, wealth and happiness to name a few. It will not focus on the negative but rather use it to find one's purpose in life... one's ultimate destiny... or at least try to. It's one of the simplest things I can do to show my gratitude to a transcendental power that continues to give life to us all. That and ultimately following my own advice, of course.