The Fundamentals of Success #6: Become an Inverse Paranoid

This next principle has proven to be very valuable for me. You see, the past several years, I have been conditioned by certain events in my life to be a little extra careful. And there are times when I get too paranoid that I start thinking people are out to get me!

At some level, this kind of paranoia can be helpful. I tend to be cautious of my surroundings when I travel, I double check everything before leaving the house and before going to bed, I make lists, I have contingency plans in case things go wrong. I am O.C. that way. On the other hand, it would be better and more helpful for my well-being if I apply this principle of being an inverse paranoid. Instead of thinking that bad people are out to get me, why not think that people and circumstances are out to help me get what I want? And so, I have this mantra that I include in my daily meditation: "All great things are coming to me. People and opportunities are part of a plot to enhance my well-being." Because of this mindset, I am slowly letting go of my paranoia and replacing it instead with good, positive vibes. After all, there is opportunity in everything, no matter how difficult certain circumstances might be.

If you take the approach that "good" is not an accident --- that everyone and everything that shows up in your life is there for a reason --- and that the universe is moving you toward your ultimate destiny for learning, growth, and achievement, you'll begin to see every event, no matter how difficult or challenging, as a chance for enrichment and advancement in your life.

And when that time comes that things seem to fall apart, just know that God must have something better in store for you. Rather than thinking what a loser you are, change your paradigm and believe that it's just not meant and something greater is about to happen. Practice this and see how it goes.

The Fundamentals of Success #5: Believe in Yourself

The 5th principle is very much tied with the fourth. Now that you believe anything is possible, then go the extra mile by believing in yourself first.

You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on Earth by the Master Craftsman. - Max Lucado, best-selling author

Believe in yourself. How simple is that? It doesn't matter whether you are the smartest one around or the one who didn't finish college. Believe in yourself... in your capabilities and everything else will follow. How many billionaires do we know who never even finished college? And how many people do we know who have gotten their masters and doctorate degrees and yet are still not financially successful?

Don't let others dictate how you should live your life. And in times when no one else believes in you, you have to believe in yourself. This is what will make you a winner. What others think about you is none of your business. Whether you like it or not, Dr. Daniel Amen's 18/40/60 Rule is very true:

When you're 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you; when you're 40, you don't give a darn what anybody thinks of you; when you're 60, you realize that nobody's been thinking about you at all.

This is such a revelation isn't?! Here we are, wasting our time worrying about what others think of us. When in truth, no one really bothers coz everyone else is also busy thinking about themselves! So stop wasting time and start using it doing more productive things that can help you achieve your goal.

As a young kid, I've always known that I was the shy type. I did have tons of friends and acquaintances both in school and wherever I go but I know deep down, I'm happier by myself. But, I also know that the world does not operate that way. If I wanted to succeed, I made myself believe that I should get out of my shell and explore my options. So what I did was, I just believed in myself that I could do it. Whether it was to lead a class, or to act on stage, or to talk in front of so many people, or to deliver a speech during oratorical contests, I just know that I can do it, nervous and all.

As an elementary and secondary student, I was always sent to various quiz bees, seminars, workshops, etc. and I was expected to lead and mingle with people. No matter how shy I'd get, I just start by faking it at first. I have always been good at acting anyway, so I might as well use it. It did pay off. The confidence that grew in me was brought about by years of practice, of believing in myself that I can do it. And even if at times I fail, I just get up again and again. I don't want to waste my time believing that I can't. This is why I love venturing into new things. I've given up "I can't" a long time ago. And whenever I do feel like I can't, at least I know that I always have a choice of whether to believe it or not. And so do you. It's just a matter or attitude.

The Fundamentals of Success #4: Believe It's Possible

Before I tackle the 4th principle, do check out these other three:  

1.Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life 
2.Be Clear Why You're Here 
3.Decide What You Want 

On to the next success principle: 

The Fundamentals of Success #4: Believe It's Possible

Happiness for Everyone this New Year

It must be a puzzle for most of us how some people tend to be happier than others in spite of the tragedies that had befallen them… why do some people easily bounce back from life’s tragedies while there are others who, despite having almost everything they ever wanted in life, still seem to feel miserable. Well, wonder no more. There is actually a scientific theory that can explain this phenomenon. And scientists call this --- HAPPINESS SET POINT.

Scientists continue to prove that 1/2 of our happiness level is genetic. Yes, we all got our tendency for happiness/misery from our biological parents and that is our base point. Would you believe? 50% of the time, how we feel comes from the way our parents feel about life too. But it does not mean that those born with somber parents are doomed for life. This just means that they would have to work doubly hard on intending to be blissful. It’s the same way with obese and skinny people. They have to work harder in getting their desired weight as compared to those who are born with just the perfect genes (according to social standards at least).

Knowing these things, how do we become happy? How do we make this coming New Year filled with bliss, love, and more of the great things that we’ve all been yearning for? One minute we are ecstatic, the next minute, we get depressed. Then sometime in between, we bounce back to our happiness set point. How do we ensure that we feel happy most of the time at the very least?

Take for instance those people who were lucky enough to have won in the lottery and were deliriously happy about it at first. But after a few months or a year, they go back to their old sad selves. However, there are people who have lost so much and after a while, they go back to their content and happy lives. That level of happiness that they slowly went back to is their happiness set point.

But don’t fret if you belong to the somber ones. You may not be able to change your happiness set point because that is genetic, but you can change your overall level of everyday happiness and outlook in life. Happiness set point is after all, just 50% of the equation. The other half will depend on your effort and your will to want to be happy.

The following information might help:

The things that contribute to our overall happiness according to scientists are:
• Genetics – 50%
• Intentional Activity – 40%
• Circumstances – 10%

Now we know why material things can’t buy happiness. They are just part of the circumstances surrounding you (like whether you’re born rich or poor, white or black, handicapped or healthy, etc.) and it’s only 10% of the equation. The bigger chunk that we can control is our intention which comprises 40% of the equation. And that’s a lot! So when we intend to be happy and do things that make us happy, it counts for a lot in our happiness level.

So know your happiness set point by observing your parents and then from there, do things that can bring your happiness to a higher level.

Here are some examples of intentional activities you can do for you to reach that level of happiness you desire:

1. Take more pleasure in life. Look everywhere for happiness and delight!
Learn to appreciate the simple joys of life. Take pleasure in the little things.
- Take charge of your stressors. Control them.
- I’ve told you that money can’t buy happiness hence forget about making tons of it. Enjoy it instead and share the wealth.
- Our body is the temple of the holy spirit. Nurture and nourish it, do not abuse it.

2. Find the meaning of your life. Find your purpose.
- Believe in yourself. As you wake up each morning, make an affirmation in front of the mirror that today will be a great day. Believe this and it shall be.
- Fake it until you make it. Smile and act happy even if you don’t feel like it.
- Pay it forward. Do little acts of kindness, both random and planned.
- Be grateful for everything no matter what. Always
- Forgive, forget, let go, move on.
- Make new friends and nurture old ones.

3. Be engaged in your endeavors.
- Work as if you’re playing. Play as if you’re working.
- Take charge of the way you use your time, money and other resources. Don’t let anybody else pressure you.

These are just some examples of intentional activities we can do to increase our happiness level, especially this New Year and after everything that has happened the past year. Doing so can better the quality of our lives and help save humanity in the process.

God speed!

Positive Thinking Works

One busy evening, I was asked by a male friend of mine online: "How can you always stay so positive?". I surmise that many of my friends are wondering about the same thing too but he was the one brave enough to actually ask me. I replied that it's something I have always inculcated in myself since way back in college. A decade later, I am finally reaping its benefits.

Read more:

Positive Thinking Works

Who is Kicking Pinay?

Growing up, I have witnessed and experienced a lot of negativity around me. Although we were not very poor, there were a lot of times my siblings and I weren't able to eat right. We got by with the help of a few kind relatives and even strangers from beyond. But still, ghosts of my family's past kept on coming back to haunt us. My mom used to be a total nag, an emotional wreck and a big spender, my dad had the worst of vices, my brother attempted to kill himself several times, my sister grew up physically abused and I...well, I almost had a mental & emotional breakdown.

But all that is in the past. My mom is a lot happier these days, my dad is busy with a small home-based business he has, my brother is now a very responsible father and provider, my sister is a millionaire living independently while helping out our family and I am living the life I want: stress-free, with financial and time independence.

What matters now is the way I choose to live my life, hoping to encourage others like me to rise above their current situation and become stronger, better and happier. We have the power within us to change our lives the way we want it to be. It is here, inside of us, whether we believe it or not. It only takes a certain level of acknowledgment, acceptance, belief and hard work to make one's way to a life of greater possibilities.

This blog will talk about overcoming challenges, problems and difficulties from the most mundane to the most complex of cases. Eventually, it will feature other Pinays with a "kicking" attitude --- those who persevered and succeeded, those who did not easily give up, those who continue to live a full life. It will tackle subjects like success, good health, freedom from want, wealth and happiness to name a few. It will not focus on the negative but rather use it to find one's purpose in life... one's ultimate destiny... or at least try to. It's one of the simplest things I can do to show my gratitude to a transcendental power that continues to give life to us all. That and ultimately following my own advice, of course.