Change yourself and you have done your part in changing the world. Every individual must change his own life if he wants to live in a peaceful world. The world cannot become peaceful unless and until you yourself begin to work toward peace. It is only by removing hatred from our hearts that we can live a Christlike life.
It's been a long while since I've last written my thoughts here. I've been quite busy but nevertheless, peaceful and content for the most part of this year, thanks to applying everything I have learned so far.
From time to time, I do come back to my previous posts here to remind myself that I am always stronger than I think, and that I have already come to know how to get better when personal tribulations pass me by.
From time to time, I do come back to my previous posts here to remind myself that I am always stronger than I think, and that I have already come to know how to get better when personal tribulations pass me by.
This paragram about PEACE is a reminder that at the bottom of it all, it's this hatred I have for some people/circumstances that I need to forgive so I can further heal myself and move on to a brighter life, and a better me. It's a trying process.
I know I've already forgiven them, but like Oprah said "Forgive, but never forget." And in the process of remembering, sometimes emotions arise that I thought have long been gone, until it suddenly hits me in my gut.
I guess, when that happens, it means that forgiveness hasn't been total, which is what I need to learn. Like what the paragram says, it is only with complete forgiveness that I can be like a real daughter of God, an offspring of the mighty creator.
I am on my way there... Like earlier today, my brother shared some nasty stuff about my step grandmother again. So apparently, she hasn't changed her evil ways. But I won't let that affect me anymore. In fact, I was just neutral and calm the whole time he was telling me about his most recent experiences with her. I've already forgiven her and that's that. I will just not make it a point to be in the same room with her. I'll let her live her life and I'll do mine, praying and hoping the best for her.
I know I've already forgiven them, but like Oprah said "Forgive, but never forget." And in the process of remembering, sometimes emotions arise that I thought have long been gone, until it suddenly hits me in my gut.
I guess, when that happens, it means that forgiveness hasn't been total, which is what I need to learn. Like what the paragram says, it is only with complete forgiveness that I can be like a real daughter of God, an offspring of the mighty creator.
I am on my way there... Like earlier today, my brother shared some nasty stuff about my step grandmother again. So apparently, she hasn't changed her evil ways. But I won't let that affect me anymore. In fact, I was just neutral and calm the whole time he was telling me about his most recent experiences with her. I've already forgiven her and that's that. I will just not make it a point to be in the same room with her. I'll let her live her life and I'll do mine, praying and hoping the best for her.
Hi Jen.. mind if I call you on your first name? :) just a quick question.. I noticed on your previous blogs that you had a suicidal attempts during your younger years.. how did you manage to get out from it? you see, when I was younger, I also had suicidal attempts. Now that I am in my 30s, married and first time pregnant.. sometimes I think about it and throws be back to my depression. :(
ReplyDeleteHey Kimberly,
ReplyDeleteMost people who tend to be suicidal get help from their family and friends. Unfortunately, for me, I'm not very close to my family and as much as possible, I don't burden my friends with my problems. At a very young age, I've learned to help myself, which is why I love reading self-help books. My favorite (and what I consider my Bible) right now is Andrew Matthews' Happiness in Hard Times. Before it was published, I've already been reading all his other books (Being Happy, Making Friends, Follow Your Heart). I suggest you buy any of his books and I assure you, it will change you. All the things I want to say to you on how to overcome depression, it's there. But of course, it always starts with WANTING to change and wanting to feel good about yourself. I think you already have that desire. The next step is to buy his book and apply what you learn in your life. I wish you well, Kim!
P.S.
ReplyDeleteKim,
This feeling could also be due to your hormones surging because of the pregnancy. Tell your doctor about it during your next check-up and let your husband know what you're going through. It always helps when there's someone to share the burden with.
In the meantime, aside from reading the books I suggested, you can also try meditation which I try to do every day. You can find out more about meditation here: http://babywiccan.blogspot.com/search/label/meditation
Be well!
Jen