Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Fundamentals of Success #3: Decide What You Want

It's been months since I last posted on this blog. For the most part, I was practicing all those lessons I learned in the first two chapters of Jack Canfield's book "The Success Principles":

Take a look at my main blog an you'll see that I've been quite busy the past three months. ^_^

Just to remind myself, here's how it is to be on purpose:
To be "on purpose" means you're doing what you love to do, doing what you're good at and accomplishing what's important to you. When you truly are on purpose, the people, resources, and opportunities you need gravitate toward you. The world benefits, too, because when you act in alignment with your true life purpose, all of your actions automatically serve others.

In my last post, I mentioned that:
My purpose is to use my optimism and industry to support and inspire others to become happy, successful, healthy and wealthy in their respective lives.

I am still doing that but not as much as I used to 2-3 months ago. As soon as November hit the calendar, I started going on "vacation mode". I figured, I deserve to relax for a while, enjoy the comforts that my hard work afforded me and just be my true self --- relaxed, introverted, homebody, happy, easy-go-lucky self. I don't want to socialize much, I just love staying at home, doing my work, tending to domestic stuff, getting busy online. I wasn't my social, active self. The most active I got was when I went traveling all over (Cebu City, Cagayan de Oro City, Singapore, Cagbalete Island in Quezon and most recently, Malapascua Island in Cebu) where I felt my happiest too. And this is the other part of the equation that I was talking about... why I haven't been able to update this blog. Because amidst everything that has happened and that is continuously happening around me, I feel like I still can't decide what I want. I mean, I know what I want, but it seems like I can't decide coz there's just too many of them, each one different at any given time. Just look at this other personal blog I made where I listed down all those little projects I want to accomplish next year. My wanting so many different things at different times hinders me from graduating from chapter three of this book. I mean, I'm done reading it. But have I got it down pat?

Here's what I wrote on top of page 25 of this book when I answered the phrase DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT:

I want to be comfortable and happy. So what makes me comfortable and happy? Hmmm...

1. a job/career I love
2. blogging
3. taking care of our home
4. traveling
5. reading
6. watching movies

I wrote these things last August 2009. Looking back…, let us double check that again:

1. a job/career I love ... CHECK!
2. blogging ...
3. taking care of our home ...
4. traveling ...
5. reading ...
6. watching movies ...

And then I also wrote Php10 Million as the answer to what success looks like for me. And yet, I do not have a concrete and detailed action plan on how I should go about it. This is why I can't seem to graduate from this chapter.

Perhaps, I am living someone else's dreams. Deep down, I know I am a simple person with simple wants. I just want to live a happy and comfortable life, which I am pretty much living right now, minus the Php10 Million cash. I'll get there. But perhaps, right now is not the perfect time.

On page 26, Jack wrote:
"In the name of being sensible, we end up becoming numb to our own desires. There are too many layers of "shoulds", "ought to's" and "you'd better's" piled on top of and suffocating what we really want. So how do you reclaim yourself and your true desires? How do you get back to what you really want with no fear, shame, or inhibition? How do you reconnect with your real passion? You start on the smallest level by honoring your preferences in every situation --- no matter how large or small. Don't think of them as petty. They might be inconsequential to someone else, but they are not to you. "

Wow, this is what I have been doing all throughout these months that I haven't been blogging here and I didn't even realize it until now! For instance, when I get invited to parties, go sees, VTRs, events, weddings, etc., I follow my gut feel, I follow my preference. I quiet the voices of "shoulds", "you'd better's" and "ought to's" in my head and decide based on what I really, really want right at that moment. Most of the time, I decline to these invitations and just stay home and do my own thing coz that's my preference... coz that's where I am happiest. So maybe, I'm doing a good job after all.


Jack said that not being clear about what we want and prioritizing other people's needs and desires is simply a habit and we can break it by practicing the opposite. Moreover, we should make an "I want list". Preferably, 30 things we want to have and want to do before we die. As for me, knowing how flighty and impulsive I can get, I am narrowing it down for now on what I want to accomplish next year. Of course the other stuff I usually love to do (like blogging, traveling, reading, watching movies, cooking my own recipes, etc.) will always be there. As for my other wants, I narrowed them down on my projects blog ---

By doing this -making the list, that is, - we are creating a "global positioning system" for ourselves. Meaning, once we clarify and stay focused with our vision (work, finances, recreation, health, relationships, personal goals, contribution to the larger community, etc.) the exact steps will keep appearing along the way.


To help us with our vision, it helps to visualize the things that we want. Paint a clear mental picture in our head of how we want all these aspects of our life to be. I remember when I was a little kid, I keep daydreaming about myself living in a pretty house, with glass doors surrounded by beautiful stuff. And O-M-G! That's where I am right now! This is one proof that active visualization really works!

Lastly, Jack Canfield wrote that in order to get the maximum impact of our wants and desires, we need to share it. Another O-M-G! Isn't this what I have been doing all this time, blogging about it, sharing it to my social network, telling my friends about it?! Jack said: "You'll find that when you share your vision, some people will want to help you make it happen.”

I believe, in a way, I have this chapter down pat. Now, I can graduate and move on to the next level. So, how about you? What do you want?

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