Project Baby - What It's All About

*pic taken last weekend when I visited my friends Net and Dave and their beautiful daughter Anya*

I had another light bulb moment while I was taking a shower a few minutes ago. I couldn't wait to write down my thoughts so I rushed to my drawer to get an underwear, wore my panty and went in front of my computer, opened my blog and here I am now, hair still dripping wet, half naked, writing down my thoughts... It's about my project baby. 

Read more:  Project Baby - What It's All About

Dec. 23 Gratitude Journal

I promised myself before that I'll do this gratitude journal on my blog. Here are three things I am thankful for today:

1. Discovering the course The Artists' Way - a Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity
2. My sister being home this holiday season
3. My parents staying with us until New Year

How about you? What are you thankful for today?

Attitude of Gratitude

I think my okra plant is bearing fruit!

Thinking of things you're thankful for each day can bring such a sense of calm and feeling of happiness even when you've been feeling down for so long. It's just a matter of discipline and constant practice but if you do this every day, I promise you, the quality of your life will be so much better. I should know. Although I must admit that I haven't been doing this for a long while and was focusing on the negative side of things and that was when things started falling apart. My husband and I were constantly bickering at each other, I got sick, and our finances dwindled. But once I stopped myself from falling into that old destructive pattern and regained control over my feelings, things started falling into place once again and it's getting better and better.

Anyway, I'd like to start this gratitude journal here on my online self-help blog. You can do the same and as you practice the attitude of gratitude, notice how things begin to become better in your life. It could be small things, it could be big things. Just be aware and continuously practice giving thanks to blessings you receive each passing day NO MATTER WHAT.

For this morning alone, I have three things to be thankful for:

• By discovering HP Plus for my laboratory tests, I was able to save Php 10,000 on medical expenses.
• The person who extracted my blood this morning had such gentle hands that I didn't feel a thing. It was a first for me! In the past, whenever I'd get a blood test, the experience was usually painful. Thank God it wasn't today!
• My husband was with me the whole time and he was more sweet than usual.

When I got home, more blessings greeted me...

• Our fridge and pantry are full of healthy foods I can eat.
• Our house with the Christmas decors around is looking lovely as usual.
• I have a bag of new Nivea products I'm testing which I'll share with you on my other blog.
• My vegetable plants are growing (both my okra and tomato plants have just sprouted some flowers and maybe even a fruit!)

My tomato plant has flowers now!

Realizing these blessings made me happier today. And because I'm happier, I'm more productive and efficient with everything that I have to do. I even got to do 4 blog posts in between!

I'll also be going out on a fancy dinner date with my hubby tonight, and another fancy dinner date with my parents tomorrow. Those are two more things I am thankful for. How about you? (^_^)

PATIENCE - A Paragram by Paramahansa Yogananda

I was doing my meditation last night when I picked up this card from my paragrams. I thought how apt it was especially these days when my life seem to be revolving around things that are in the process of fruition ... like waiting for Peter's business to fully take off, waiting to see my vegetable seeds grow, waiting for the weekend so I can spend time with my personal projects, waiting for my money to come in... waiting to bum around again... waiting... and more waiting.

Come to think of it, my previous post on becoming an inverse paranoid had something to do with patience too. I guess I haven't been doing my best that the universe has chosen to give me a sign in written word, practically shouting: Jen, be patient! Your wishes are at hand...

When tilling ground for the cultivation of crops, one needs patience to destroy all useless weeds; and to wait, even though the ground appears barren, until the hidden good seeds sprout into plants. It requires still more patience to clear the field of consciousness that is overgrown with weeds of useless attachments to sense pleasures, which are very difficult to uproot. Yet when the field of consciousness is cleared, and sown with seeds of good qualities, plants of noble activities sprout forth, yielding abundantly the fruits of real happiness. Above all, have the patience to seek communion with God through deep meditation and to become acquainted with your indestructible soul, hidden within your perishable earthly body.

Sometimes I forget how God's blessings swoop in the minute I rid my mind of "weeds" such as worries, negative thoughts and undesirable feelings. There's a certain discipline to it. It's a lot like love such that you say yes to it even when you don't feel in love because that's the commitment you made.

Same thing with cultivating good thoughts, positive feelings and actionable results. Even when at first the ground seems barren, the roots of blessings are forming and before you know it, harvest season is at hand.

So Jen... be patient. ^_^

How to beat Stress? Pinpoint your stressors.

As the old saying goes, "knowing is half the battle", and indeed, it is true, including when trying to beat stress in your daily life. Stress is normal. It happens to everyone, even to the most saintly person in this whole world. After all, stress is really a God-given / natural response that triggers our body to fight or flight. At the most basic level, stress can spur us to act when there is an emergency or when our life is put at risk.

However, when stress lingers or gets triggered even by the smallest or the most mundane of things, then stress itself could be a danger to us. In the long run, it can cause severe illnesses like heart attack, migraine, high blood pressure, even the common cold. It can rob you of your creativity, make you forgetful and disorganized, and simply make your life miserable. When stress becomes like this in your life, it's time to take action and beat it. But how?

One way to beat stress is to know where it's coming from. Are you stressed out when you're procrastinating? Is stress a result of your being unemployed, or having an unresolved conflict with someone, or being disorganized, or from being obsessive-compulsive or a perfectionist? Is your dead-end job stressing you out? Is it your parents? Your in-laws? Your friends? Your social network? Whatever the source of your stress is, you have to be able to pinpoint it out so you can start thinking of a solution for it.

As for me, lately, I have been stressed about my upcoming trip to Cagayan de Oro. It's all those ugly memories I've had with my grandparents that are coming to the surface and stressing me out. They've hurt me so much in the past that even if I've already forgiven them, I just can never forget. My solution? I now adapt a little paradigm shift by looking at the fact that my grandfather is almost 90 years old and that he needs to be with his grandchildren now more than ever, before it's too late. I am also looking at this trip as an opportunity to travel with my parents which we haven't done in a very long time. And lastly, I will have a chance to see my bestest friend, Mer, as well as my other high school friends should time permit it.

If I wasn't able to pinpoint where my jittery feelings, anxiety and stress are all coming from these past few days, I'd probably be having a sour mood everyday and my husband would likely be the recipient of my bad behavior. Now that I know where they're coming from, I am able to control my emotions and separate them from what is real and happening right now.

So try this technique. Pinpoint your stressors and beat stress now.

CALMNESS - A Paragram by Paramahansa Yogananda

My world seemed kind of "noisy" recently... or at best, it's not as peaceful as I willed it to be in the past. A family member has been staying with us for more or less two weeks now and though a big part of me is happy to be with this person again, her being strong-willed, opinionated and feisty are somewhat draining the lights out of me. Her life decisions made me question my own; her material wealth (like those branded bags she has) made me discontent; basically her presence made mine feel obsolete (like the way I dress myself although I know what she meant). I felt like I want what she has... it made me think for a while that her life was better than mine. I am normally not like this. I easily get happy for other people's blessings and happiness and I normally don't compare myself or my home life to others because truth be told, I am weird and there are not a lot of people who understand my chosen lifestyle. I've already come to accept that. But when my life and my decisions get questioned or challenged, especially by someone I hold dear, little doubts here and there get planted and before I know it, I am a one big ball of mess.

But before I even get to that messy part, I am once again seeking peace from all this noise in my head and around me. I turn to my Para-Grams. And so I drew the card that talks about being calm:

Knowing that you are a child of God, make up your mind to be calm no matter what happens. If your mind is fully identified with your activities, you cannot be conscious of the Lord. But if you are calm and receptive to him within while being active without, you are rightly active. Each time a swarm of worries invades your mind, refuse to be affected; wait calmly while seeking the remedy. Spray the worries with the powerful chemical of your peace. You cannot buy peace; you must know how to manufacture it within, in the stillness of your daily practices in meditation. When you think that you have reached the utmost depth of silence and calmness, go deeper still. In the silence you will receive from God the answers to your life's problems.

I like that part where it says I must manufacture my peace within. That particular day when I felt so troubled, as if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and everything I did just ended in failure, I stopped, closed my eyes and meditated. I quieted my mind and my heart. It was difficult especially with all the self-doubts swimming in my head and in my heart. It took a long while too and realized that I missed it.

With the busyness of my life, I wasn't able to meditate as frequently and as regularly as I did in the past. No wonder I was easily swayed, my emotions were easily stirred and it seemed like I couldn't find my inner voice. I now refuse to be affected by this noise and I promise to continue to live by my own rules of happiness. It's how God made me and I do believe that I should honor that, and not be someone else that I am not.

How to Face Your Fears

Lately, I have been feeling down again. Maybe it's because my husband got sick over the weekend, and it's really hard for me every time that happens. I feel mad, I feel very worried, I feel like I should be doing something more fun and productive, yet there I was, playing nurse and starting to feel sick too. It was not until I went online to read a couple of posts from this blog (reading my past realizations somehow makes me feel a lot better), checked my messages and answered some that I felt inspired once again.

On this particular post, I'd like to share a conversation I had with someone who contacted me via Facebook. It's about facing one's fears, about how I seemingly managed to do a lot of things and how this person can be fearless as well. After I wrote my advice and read it again, it also hit me, like... wow! I did all those things?! It's amazing how some people who seek for my help end up being the ones who help and inspire me instead. So this post is for Sam (name altered for privacy purposes). Thank you, Sam, for making me see that in spite of a couple of bumps along the way, life is still beautiful.

Sam:

Hi Ms. Jen, Ive just watched your TV appearances. Sikat ka pala tlaga (I didn't know you're famous). You are right, confidence is one of the keys... for doing what you want and need.. I admire your fearless and adventurous personality. I really wanted to do things I wanted to do, but when I had minor heart problem, mitral valve prolapse in which palpitations and anxiety ruins my moods...

Luckily, I dont have any maintenance medicine, but I have medicine for palpitations if I can't bear the attacks. This illness is more associated with the mind, nasasamahan pa ng nerbyos kapag naiisip ko o akala ko aatakihin ako... (coupled with nervousness when I think I'm going to have another attack). Good thing some gym work out really helps.

I'm asking for your advice or any suggestions on how to overcome fears, how I can be motivated for doing what I love.. dami ko hindi ngagawa kasi nga maraming fears (There are so many things I can't do due to my fears) or negativity before I even start. How can I be more motivated?? I'm also still struggling to find what my passion really is...

BTW I'm now reading Happiness in Hard Times, thank you. I'm also sharing it to my friends.. your blogs are very informative and inspirational.. and Thank you very much.. More Blessings to you Ms. Jen!

My reply:

Sorry for my late reply. I've been playing wifey and mommy to my sick husband these past few days and I haven't been opening my messages folder here on FB. Sorry about that.

Hey, I'm so glad you're reading the book now and sharing it with your friends. That book is my Bible. I've been reading it too over the weekend coz every time my hubby gets sick, for some reason, I also get mad at him and I'm trying to overcome that. I guess I was just expecting our weekend to be fun. I usually don't see him all week because of work and I was hoping we can go out of town and windsurf but instead we had to stay home and I had to take care of him. But he's getting better now, thank God.

I'm so sorry to hear about your heart condition. At the same time I am saying a silent thank you prayer that it's not worse than it is. Like you said, it's all in the mind. Just keep training your mind and keep believing that you're healthy, that you have everything you need, that your life is unfolding perfectly. Just keep being grateful for the blessings you have and the blessings that keep coming your way no matter how small. The more you feel good about your life, the better your life will get and the more things you can do.

Being fearless is not about not feeling fear. It's actually acknowledging the fact that you fear something and it's also acknowledging the fact that you can face your fear and overcome it.

Many of the things I did, I did while I was feeling very fearful...

I was scared of the ocean so I surfed, I snorkeled, I tried diving once, I rode boats amidst the swells of the ocean.

I was scared to jump off a cliff so I jumped amidst the raging falls at Pundaquit in Zambales, 15 meters high.

I was scared of snakes and alligators, so I went to zoos and held all sorts of snakes and carried a baby crocodile.

I was scared to fly, so I took 6 flights from Manila to Singapore to Kuala Lumpur to Vietnam in a period of 8 days.

I was scared to be alone so I spent 4 weeks alone in Boracay....

All these things were scary for me. I cried at some point but I knew I just had to do them and face them. I will always be scared to do them all over again but at least now I know I can do them despite the feeling of fear. Like anything else, it's just a feeling. I can choose to ignore the fear and just go on with my life, doing things that I know will make me a better person.

So just do what you want to do, as long as you know it won't pose a great risk to your life. The reason why I stopped diving is because I had a hard time pressurizing my ear at that time, that if I didn't stop I knew I'd die. For some people, diving is easy. But I am also smart enough to know what my limits are and when to say no.

So try to do the things you want at least once. Those you enjoyed the most, keep doing them again and again. Before you know it, you'll realize what your passion in life really is.

I hope what I've been saying here makes sense. I wish you well, Sam. And do update me of your progress..

CHEERFULNESS - A Paragram by Paramahansa Yogananda

Cheerfulness consists principally in the attitude of the mind, and is conditioned only incidentally by outside factors. Your happiness need not die, stricken by poverty, sickness, or sorrow. Realize that enough hidden strength lies within you to overcome all obstacles and temptations. Bring forth that indomitable power and energy by being cheerful at all times in spite of your circumstances. Only when you lose your mental balance are you vulnerable to suffering. If you are burned by the fire of difficulties, apply the salve of cheerfulness until your inner balance and peace are restored.

Have you ever experienced one bad thing happening to you after another? What do you do to bounce back? What can you do to be able to take a deep breathe, detach yourself from the situation, and move on?

Many people I know tend to have a hard time going forward with their lives whenever something tragic happens to them. I guess it's human nature. Nobody's perfect and we have to sometimes allow ourselves to sulk, mope, eat lots of ice cream or do whatever it is to make the hurt and pain go away. For some, the process is easy. For others, it can take time and effort, resources which can be scarce, given the busy lives people tend to live today.

But then again, who says that life is easy? Well, I know I did say that before. And I still believe it until now, even when I'm busily burying myself in work, trying to ignore the pain caused by my PC and external drive crashing down on me (where my most precious memories and confidential files since 2002 were saved), and even when I seldom sleep anymore. Life is easy and if it's hard right now, it's because I am making it so.

Nobody told me to work 24 hours a day. Everyone kept saying to back up, back up, back up! Nobody forced me to be miserable. And I am stopping now. There are more severe problems out there in the world, like maybe the fact that our country just recently voted for the next President (Noynoy Aquino) and already, they are clamoring for his removal from office. See? My problems are so tiny next to what our country will be facing in the next several years.

Cheerfulness, just like love and happiness are not only gifts. They are both our right and obligation to ourselves because we deserve no less. Cheerfulness must come from within, even in the most dire of circumstances. It's just life. Sometimes we have it all, sometimes we don't. Let's move on and make new memories, create new blessings, live better lives. Today is always the perfect day to start. Aren't we Pinoys known to be one of the most cheerful race? So, who's with me?

Tips for a More Productive 2010

My girlfriend, Koryn, forwarded these tips to me via email. She seldom does that and I seldom read forwarded emails but the title and content caught my attention and I feel like sharing them with you now.

Unknowingly, I have been practicing most of these tips all these years no wonder I seem to be living such a remarkable life despite everything (tips # 3-11). As for tips #1-2, I am getting there. ^_^

Finally, these tips and more can be found in this amazing book should you want to purchase it.

Here they are.... tips on how to live a more productive life:

1. Purge clutter, downsize, and minimize. The less stuff you own, the less you have to clean, store, maintain, manage, protect, worry about, stress about, waste money on, forget, and pick up. Have the minimum amount of stuff for you to be comfortable. (This level is different for everyone and you’ll have to figure it out for yourself.)

2. Organize what you choose to own and use. Your home and office don’t need to be pristine museums, but you and the people who access the same space/items need to be able to easily find things when they’re needed. Order is better than chaos, and order saves you time and energy.

3. Commit to a streamlined routine for the mundane tasks in your life and be disciplined enough to maintain that routine. If you do 30 minutes of housework a day, your home is never chaotic. But, you have to be committed to these daily activities (dishes, laundry as needed, things put back in place when finished, kitty litter scooped, etc.) and not put them off for another day. The same is true for work; you have to stay on top of the necessary tasks or they will haunt you. I also think of this item as taking responsibility for the things you choose to own.

4. Determine what matters most to you. Make a list of the people, activities, and things in your life that mean the most to you and then spend the vast majority of your time focusing on these items. Be honest with yourself, though, and put on your list what really matters to you, not what you think should matter to you.

5. Remind yourself that even if you live to be 100, life is short. There is no better time to live your life than right now. My life’s motto is carpe vitam, Latin for seize life. It’s morbid to think about, but someday might not ever come. Stop putting things off until tomorrow.

6. Say “no” to what doesn’t matter. If an activity or responsibility isn’t on your list of what matters most to you, say “no” to it. Learn to say “no” in such a way as to not be a jerk, but say “no” when you need to. This is where I greatly differ from most people because I don’t feel guilty about protecting my time. And, as far as I know, most people don’t think I’m a jerk because I’m clear about why I’m declining offers and invitations. (“Taking a yoga class with you would be fun, but Wednesday nights are date night with my husband. Is there a similar class we can take together on another night?”)

7. Enjoy being industrious. Working provides us with the resources to take care of the things that matter most. Whatever you do for a career, make sure it is something that you enjoy (even if just minimally).

8. Get rid of everything that is toxic in your life because toxic things are clutter. Toxic people and habits suck up resources and energy. I was an avid smoker until I calculated how much of my money, time, and energy were going into my smoking addiction. No matter how gifted and talented, I avoid employing, working with, and spending time with people who are toxic. A toxic person can waste your time and mental energy faster than any other form of clutter.

9. Live within your means and save money for retirement, rainy days, and adventures. Get rid of your credit cards and only use cash or your debit card. Live on a budget even if you don’t need to be mindful of your spending habits. Have a retirement account, and two savings accounts — one for emergencies (refrigerator died, fender bender) and one for splurging on what matters most to you (vacation, rock climbing lessons, a camera to capture your child’s first steps). Buy quality instead of quantity. Be a smart consumer.

10. Take risks and be brazen. A second motto in my life is ad astra per aspera, which is loosely translated as to the stars through difficulty. (It’s also the Kansas state motto.) Great things might fall in your lap from time to time, but for the most part you have to get outside your comfort zone and initiate something new. Have you always wanted to learn to play the flute? Get your hands on a flute and start taking lessons. You’ll be really awful those first six months (or year or five), but you’ll never learn to play the flute if you don’t take the chance and try.

11. Get adequate sleep. Keep a sleep journal and find out how much sleep you need to function at your best. Then, make sure you get that amount of sleep every night. When you’re well rested, it’s easier to stay calm, be productive, and focus on what you need and want to do.

The Power of Discernment

In my last post I wrote: "Make sure the choices you make are consistent with your inner values. By aligning everything in your life, you are aligning yourself with the universe. When you are aligned with the universe, we all know what happens next.... your life will then be a series of one miracle after another."

I took my own advice when the job I was pursuing didn't feel right anymore. After pursuing something that I thought I would love to do for the rest of my life, I realized that it was not the case. Ever since I learned about The Secret in 2007, I have become more aware of my emotions and my varying states of being. I have somehow developed this habit of knowing when I am one with the universe and when I am not. Our emotional guiding system, when discerned and used properly, is really a tool leading us to the right path in our lives. When you feel that you are at peace, happy and abundant then you know that the direction you're taking is the correct one.

At that time, I was doing everything I can to keep loving my job because truth be told, I loved it! I was excited by it! I didn't know anything about it but I was willing to learn. After all, it is a very prestigious one and it took a very rigorous process before I was even offered apprenticeship. However, I also didn't want it to be just about that. I've already spent the last 6 years of my life sticking it out in a job I didn't like but a million other people will die for because of the huge monetary benefits it offered. But I don't want history repeating itself. I've already learned my lessons in that and I wanted to move on. So as soon as I experienced the telltale signs, I acted on it. I quit and started pursuing those other unconventional things that I loved to do since I was a little girl. Money is not so great (yet) but I am happier, healthier and more full of love than ever. Now, that's a very strong indication that I am doing something right. And since then (it's been roughly four weeks since I left that job), I noticed that blessings have been pouring more often and a lot faster than usual. That's how the universe works. It likes speed and results! Most of the time, it's just us who are putting hindrances to the blessings that can't wait to fall on our lap. So let's try to make them come easier and a lot faster! Listen, act and believe. Then life gets easier.

Positive Thinking Works

One busy evening, I was asked by a male friend of mine online: "How can you always stay so positive?". I surmise that many of my friends are wondering about the same thing too but he was the one brave enough to actually ask me. I replied that it's something I have always inculcated in myself since way back in college. A decade later, I am finally reaping its benefits.

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Positive Thinking Works