PATIENCE - A Paragram by Paramahansa Yogananda

I was doing my meditation last night when I picked up this card from my paragrams. I thought how apt it was especially these days when my life seem to be revolving around things that are in the process of fruition ... like waiting for Peter's business to fully take off, waiting to see my vegetable seeds grow, waiting for the weekend so I can spend time with my personal projects, waiting for my money to come in... waiting to bum around again... waiting... and more waiting.

Come to think of it, my previous post on becoming an inverse paranoid had something to do with patience too. I guess I haven't been doing my best that the universe has chosen to give me a sign in written word, practically shouting: Jen, be patient! Your wishes are at hand...

When tilling ground for the cultivation of crops, one needs patience to destroy all useless weeds; and to wait, even though the ground appears barren, until the hidden good seeds sprout into plants. It requires still more patience to clear the field of consciousness that is overgrown with weeds of useless attachments to sense pleasures, which are very difficult to uproot. Yet when the field of consciousness is cleared, and sown with seeds of good qualities, plants of noble activities sprout forth, yielding abundantly the fruits of real happiness. Above all, have the patience to seek communion with God through deep meditation and to become acquainted with your indestructible soul, hidden within your perishable earthly body.

Sometimes I forget how God's blessings swoop in the minute I rid my mind of "weeds" such as worries, negative thoughts and undesirable feelings. There's a certain discipline to it. It's a lot like love such that you say yes to it even when you don't feel in love because that's the commitment you made.

Same thing with cultivating good thoughts, positive feelings and actionable results. Even when at first the ground seems barren, the roots of blessings are forming and before you know it, harvest season is at hand.

So Jen... be patient. ^_^

How to beat Stress? Pinpoint your stressors.

As the old saying goes, "knowing is half the battle", and indeed, it is true, including when trying to beat stress in your daily life. Stress is normal. It happens to everyone, even to the most saintly person in this whole world. After all, stress is really a God-given / natural response that triggers our body to fight or flight. At the most basic level, stress can spur us to act when there is an emergency or when our life is put at risk.

However, when stress lingers or gets triggered even by the smallest or the most mundane of things, then stress itself could be a danger to us. In the long run, it can cause severe illnesses like heart attack, migraine, high blood pressure, even the common cold. It can rob you of your creativity, make you forgetful and disorganized, and simply make your life miserable. When stress becomes like this in your life, it's time to take action and beat it. But how?

One way to beat stress is to know where it's coming from. Are you stressed out when you're procrastinating? Is stress a result of your being unemployed, or having an unresolved conflict with someone, or being disorganized, or from being obsessive-compulsive or a perfectionist? Is your dead-end job stressing you out? Is it your parents? Your in-laws? Your friends? Your social network? Whatever the source of your stress is, you have to be able to pinpoint it out so you can start thinking of a solution for it.

As for me, lately, I have been stressed about my upcoming trip to Cagayan de Oro. It's all those ugly memories I've had with my grandparents that are coming to the surface and stressing me out. They've hurt me so much in the past that even if I've already forgiven them, I just can never forget. My solution? I now adapt a little paradigm shift by looking at the fact that my grandfather is almost 90 years old and that he needs to be with his grandchildren now more than ever, before it's too late. I am also looking at this trip as an opportunity to travel with my parents which we haven't done in a very long time. And lastly, I will have a chance to see my bestest friend, Mer, as well as my other high school friends should time permit it.

If I wasn't able to pinpoint where my jittery feelings, anxiety and stress are all coming from these past few days, I'd probably be having a sour mood everyday and my husband would likely be the recipient of my bad behavior. Now that I know where they're coming from, I am able to control my emotions and separate them from what is real and happening right now.

So try this technique. Pinpoint your stressors and beat stress now.

CALMNESS - A Paragram by Paramahansa Yogananda

My world seemed kind of "noisy" recently... or at best, it's not as peaceful as I willed it to be in the past. A family member has been staying with us for more or less two weeks now and though a big part of me is happy to be with this person again, her being strong-willed, opinionated and feisty are somewhat draining the lights out of me. Her life decisions made me question my own; her material wealth (like those branded bags she has) made me discontent; basically her presence made mine feel obsolete (like the way I dress myself although I know what she meant). I felt like I want what she has... it made me think for a while that her life was better than mine. I am normally not like this. I easily get happy for other people's blessings and happiness and I normally don't compare myself or my home life to others because truth be told, I am weird and there are not a lot of people who understand my chosen lifestyle. I've already come to accept that. But when my life and my decisions get questioned or challenged, especially by someone I hold dear, little doubts here and there get planted and before I know it, I am a one big ball of mess.

But before I even get to that messy part, I am once again seeking peace from all this noise in my head and around me. I turn to my Para-Grams. And so I drew the card that talks about being calm:

Knowing that you are a child of God, make up your mind to be calm no matter what happens. If your mind is fully identified with your activities, you cannot be conscious of the Lord. But if you are calm and receptive to him within while being active without, you are rightly active. Each time a swarm of worries invades your mind, refuse to be affected; wait calmly while seeking the remedy. Spray the worries with the powerful chemical of your peace. You cannot buy peace; you must know how to manufacture it within, in the stillness of your daily practices in meditation. When you think that you have reached the utmost depth of silence and calmness, go deeper still. In the silence you will receive from God the answers to your life's problems.

I like that part where it says I must manufacture my peace within. That particular day when I felt so troubled, as if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and everything I did just ended in failure, I stopped, closed my eyes and meditated. I quieted my mind and my heart. It was difficult especially with all the self-doubts swimming in my head and in my heart. It took a long while too and realized that I missed it.

With the busyness of my life, I wasn't able to meditate as frequently and as regularly as I did in the past. No wonder I was easily swayed, my emotions were easily stirred and it seemed like I couldn't find my inner voice. I now refuse to be affected by this noise and I promise to continue to live by my own rules of happiness. It's how God made me and I do believe that I should honor that, and not be someone else that I am not.

TRUTH - A Paragram by Paramahansa Yogananda

With my husband being sick for the past week, I was busy playing the role of the dutiful wife. I was rarely online except for work and I barely had the time to take care of my personal and spiritual growth. I know... I know. It shouldn't be the case. If there's one thing I learned during my travel to Vietnam with Jem, it is to start each day with prayer or meditation. I mentioned this on my Wiccan blog and I still believe this practice to be powerful until now.

Unfortunately, this hasn't been the case for me the past week. And without meditation, I lose focus of my center and slowly, stress started creeping in. When that happens, my insecurities set in and it's not a wonderful feeling.

Suffice it to say that this morning, I made it a point to meditate again. Meditation banishes negative feelings and brings back that feeling of awe and contentment. Meditation keeps one grounded while at the same time makes you excited about the great possibilities that can happen in your life. So this morning, I did just that with the help of my Para-Grams. As I was meditating, I picked out the card of TRUTH. It says:

There is no particular section of the world, nor any special group of people, that may claim truth as an exclusive heritage. It is the rightful possession of every person, and constitutes the equality of all souls before God. If you do not make an effort to know truth, to perceive it beneath the veils that hide it, you will not discover your own real nature and will therefore remain at the mercy of outside forces of "circumstances." In meditation, behold the star of divine wisdom, that its rays disclose the truth ever within yourself. "If therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light" (Matthew 6:22). Truth is mighty and shall prevail!

I think this Para-Gram is telling me to stop feeling stressed out and insecure about myself and my life. Life in itself is beautiful and that everything I could possibly need is either already in my possession or within my reach. There is no reason to think of myself as a lesser being just because I'm not like most people. Each one of us is awesome in our own right. My own real nature is beautiful in itself and that I should never have to judge it so harshly. If I don't acknowledge this truth, then I will just be continuously at the mercy of outside forces and circumstances around me like the card says. I am created in the image and likeness of the most Divine, hence, I am already beautiful and complete.

After having this epiphany during my meditation, I felt so much better.

Try doing some meditations too when you feel stressed out or when you're having a crappy day. It doesn't have to be in the morning as long as it's a time you are comfortable at being silent for a little while so you can focus your energies.

How to Face Your Fears

Lately, I have been feeling down again. Maybe it's because my husband got sick over the weekend, and it's really hard for me every time that happens. I feel mad, I feel very worried, I feel like I should be doing something more fun and productive, yet there I was, playing nurse and starting to feel sick too. It was not until I went online to read a couple of posts from this blog (reading my past realizations somehow makes me feel a lot better), checked my messages and answered some that I felt inspired once again.

On this particular post, I'd like to share a conversation I had with someone who contacted me via Facebook. It's about facing one's fears, about how I seemingly managed to do a lot of things and how this person can be fearless as well. After I wrote my advice and read it again, it also hit me, like... wow! I did all those things?! It's amazing how some people who seek for my help end up being the ones who help and inspire me instead. So this post is for Sam (name altered for privacy purposes). Thank you, Sam, for making me see that in spite of a couple of bumps along the way, life is still beautiful.

Sam:

Hi Ms. Jen, Ive just watched your TV appearances. Sikat ka pala tlaga (I didn't know you're famous). You are right, confidence is one of the keys... for doing what you want and need.. I admire your fearless and adventurous personality. I really wanted to do things I wanted to do, but when I had minor heart problem, mitral valve prolapse in which palpitations and anxiety ruins my moods...

Luckily, I dont have any maintenance medicine, but I have medicine for palpitations if I can't bear the attacks. This illness is more associated with the mind, nasasamahan pa ng nerbyos kapag naiisip ko o akala ko aatakihin ako... (coupled with nervousness when I think I'm going to have another attack). Good thing some gym work out really helps.

I'm asking for your advice or any suggestions on how to overcome fears, how I can be motivated for doing what I love.. dami ko hindi ngagawa kasi nga maraming fears (There are so many things I can't do due to my fears) or negativity before I even start. How can I be more motivated?? I'm also still struggling to find what my passion really is...

BTW I'm now reading Happiness in Hard Times, thank you. I'm also sharing it to my friends.. your blogs are very informative and inspirational.. and Thank you very much.. More Blessings to you Ms. Jen!

My reply:

Sorry for my late reply. I've been playing wifey and mommy to my sick husband these past few days and I haven't been opening my messages folder here on FB. Sorry about that.

Hey, I'm so glad you're reading the book now and sharing it with your friends. That book is my Bible. I've been reading it too over the weekend coz every time my hubby gets sick, for some reason, I also get mad at him and I'm trying to overcome that. I guess I was just expecting our weekend to be fun. I usually don't see him all week because of work and I was hoping we can go out of town and windsurf but instead we had to stay home and I had to take care of him. But he's getting better now, thank God.

I'm so sorry to hear about your heart condition. At the same time I am saying a silent thank you prayer that it's not worse than it is. Like you said, it's all in the mind. Just keep training your mind and keep believing that you're healthy, that you have everything you need, that your life is unfolding perfectly. Just keep being grateful for the blessings you have and the blessings that keep coming your way no matter how small. The more you feel good about your life, the better your life will get and the more things you can do.

Being fearless is not about not feeling fear. It's actually acknowledging the fact that you fear something and it's also acknowledging the fact that you can face your fear and overcome it.

Many of the things I did, I did while I was feeling very fearful...

I was scared of the ocean so I surfed, I snorkeled, I tried diving once, I rode boats amidst the swells of the ocean.

I was scared to jump off a cliff so I jumped amidst the raging falls at Pundaquit in Zambales, 15 meters high.

I was scared of snakes and alligators, so I went to zoos and held all sorts of snakes and carried a baby crocodile.

I was scared to fly, so I took 6 flights from Manila to Singapore to Kuala Lumpur to Vietnam in a period of 8 days.

I was scared to be alone so I spent 4 weeks alone in Boracay....

All these things were scary for me. I cried at some point but I knew I just had to do them and face them. I will always be scared to do them all over again but at least now I know I can do them despite the feeling of fear. Like anything else, it's just a feeling. I can choose to ignore the fear and just go on with my life, doing things that I know will make me a better person.

So just do what you want to do, as long as you know it won't pose a great risk to your life. The reason why I stopped diving is because I had a hard time pressurizing my ear at that time, that if I didn't stop I knew I'd die. For some people, diving is easy. But I am also smart enough to know what my limits are and when to say no.

So try to do the things you want at least once. Those you enjoyed the most, keep doing them again and again. Before you know it, you'll realize what your passion in life really is.

I hope what I've been saying here makes sense. I wish you well, Sam. And do update me of your progress..

80-20 Rule and The Seven Habits

I came across the Pareto principle while at work. It is more popularly known as the 80-20 rule such that 20% of the causes brings about 80% of the results. Though there are a variety of permutations that explains this principle, it just struck me hard enough to write a post about how I see it.

READ MORE:

80-20 RULE OR PARETO PRINCIPLE AND THE SEVEN HABITS

PEACE - A Paragram by Paramahansa Yogananda

Change yourself and you have done your part in changing the world. Every individual must change his own life if he wants to live in a peaceful world. The world cannot become peaceful unless and until you yourself begin to work toward peace. It is only by removing hatred from our hearts that we can live a Christlike life.

It's been a long while since I've last written my thoughts here. I've been quite busy but nevertheless, peaceful and content for the most part of this year, thanks to applying everything I have learned so far.

From time to time, I do come back to my previous posts here to remind myself that I am always stronger than I think, and that I have already come to know how to get better when personal tribulations pass me by.

This paragram about PEACE is a reminder that at the bottom of it all, it's this hatred I have for some people/circumstances that I need to forgive so I can further heal myself and move on to a brighter life, and a better me. It's a trying process.

I know I've already forgiven them, but like Oprah said "Forgive, but never forget." And in the process of remembering, sometimes emotions arise that I thought have long been gone, until it suddenly hits me in my gut.

I guess, when that happens, it means that forgiveness hasn't been total, which is what I need to learn. Like what the paragram says, it is only with complete forgiveness that I can be like a real daughter of God, an offspring of the mighty creator.

I am on my way there... Like earlier today, my brother shared some nasty stuff about my step grandmother again. So apparently, she hasn't changed her evil ways. But I won't let that affect me anymore. In fact, I was just neutral and calm the whole time he was telling me about his most recent experiences with her. I've already forgiven her and that's that. I will just not make it a point to be in the same room with her. I'll let her live her life and I'll do mine, praying and hoping the best for her.